So you thought you could control me I suppose you did for long enough Long enough to have me subdued by fear Drugging me up so you could do as you wish The thoughts now cause me panic To let you rape me It was so much easier that way Easier than hearing the words Feeling my skin jump when the walls were banged But you had everything wrapped up in a love bow What a joke Hanging up the phone when I was calling out for help That one scared me Locking me out of the house Just for your own kicks I should have ran But I didn't I thought things would get better I thought things would change I wanted to be happy I wanted someone to care You cared alright, Just enough to have me to yourself completely, no friends & no family. Isolation so I would comply with your every request, too fearful to go against you Its so easy to type all this, yet I blame myself for allowing you to control me, dictate my life to me, have me do things that I questioned only internally. How long are you going to stay in my mind, enter my thoughts when they are so full of other things? How long can I live with this, over and over and over? The answer - not too much longer.