younger brother passed 28/12/11

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by nickknack, Jan 20, 2012.

  1. nickknack

    nickknack New Member

    Hello eveyone,

    my younger brother has just been buried 17th/1/12, after he hung himself at his home leaving 4 children behind.
    He was 34 had his own business and was successful in every way.

    I had to id him on the night in question after many many hours waiting for the undertakers to free my brother it was awful knowing the police just left him in situ, while doing their forensics, while we all awaited outside for nearly 6 hours, all the time seeing the police taking pictures of my brother.

    im quite angry with the police as they left everything in place that my brothers wife and kids didnt need to see, but im also very puzzled as odd things were left behind, such as an ecg readout, and spare noose and even more puzzling to me is a collection of cable ties that were on the floor under where my brother had been, these cable ties looked like they had been used for something but i cant figure out what, as they were quite odd shapes and sizes, i know he didnt use the ties to do the suicide as i saw what he used as they left it on him when i had to id him.

    its all like an unreal dream even though i had to id him and i saw him twice more while resting its just not real, and i need to know why

    i just cant go on not knowing what their purpose was, i need to know the ins and outs of things to help me deal with things, in al aspects of life i need to know details, and see things with my own eyes.

    my life just gets worse and worse, my daughter has previously tried to commit suicide over easter, life has been hard and it just gets harder, i havent worked for 3 years due to to stress anxiety and depression.

    i also need to know what time all of the above happened as his phone kinda answered at 5pm when it was rang almost as if it had accidently been knocked to accept a call, but it was muffled and i keep thinking to myself that at the time the phone rang in his pocket was the time he did the deed.

    ive just got so many answers i need answering !
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    It's an awful feeling when someone you care about ends their life--I know because it's happened to me before. The situation does sound strange and I hope that you will find the answers you are seeking and be able to get some peace of mind.
  3. Tmacster1

    Tmacster1 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss :( I lost my mother and I had a rough time. So, I can relate into the passing of someone you've loved. I hope you find this site useful and remember your not along and were here to emotionally to give your support. :hug: I hope you find answers your looking forward. Feel free to contact me by PM if you need someone to talk to.

  4. nickknack

    nickknack New Member

    wow, found police very helpful, they were able to answer all of my questions, police man i spoke to was the one who broke the front door down and was first to see my brother.

    He answered abs everything i asked him! very helpful indeed, now waiting for the inquest!

    thankyou for your kind words, im still in a kinda denial, its like one big dream! 4 weeks ago doesnt seem to have happened

  5. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    Hello - Let me add my condolences to the others before. One thing I have heard (and know from personal experience) is that most suicides just want the acute, overwhelming pain to end, and they've run out of other options

    I'm glad that the police were willing and able to help you.

    Please remember our forum here. You are welcome here, we care, and if somethings bothering you, or on your mind, you can post here, and we'll listen without judging or criticizing. Our purpose is to help each other, with support and encouragement, and sometimes sharing personal experiences You're welcome to use the PM (private messaging system) for one-to-one conversations.

    Take care
  6. ejh

    ejh Member

    Can i say i understand what your saying, my dad hung himself 2 years ago and i found him, it was the day when i was supposed to be moving out and starting a new chapter in my life, its ruined my life and i now have thoughts of harmimg my self. I also felt the police didnt help, they gave me back the belt he hung himself with, also left his body and alot of my family saw him. I just want to say this site is helping me so much
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi there is not reason really usually the pain just overides the reason to stay My younger brother did the same Just wanted sadness to end that all I don't think he even thought about devastation he would leave behind I am sorry for your loss I do hope his wife and children are getting therapy they need to heal