Your thought obsession

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by t1000, Apr 12, 2007.

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  1. t1000

    t1000 Member

    if any of you have obsessive suicidal or just death thoughts... what are they?

    I don't know if I could do it myself...

    I just hope I get caught in some place at the wrong time. If I'm ever at a store and they get held up, I would purposely put myself in the position to try to save everybody else, stand up to the guy, maybe egg him on and call him a pussy and that he won't do anything. It may scare him that he just runs out, I save the store and people. It could stall his time and there would be more evidence against him, some video recording, or allows other people to get a better profile of him. Hopefully he would shoot me and then get arrested.

    If I would survive it, it'd be a good story. Haha, that I just saved a store by selflessly standing up to an armed robber. :laugh: I LAUGH IN THE FACE OF DANGER HA HA HA HA! The story would probably entertain me long enough and maybe boost my self esteem, maybe I won't even think about it anymore!


    I live in a bad part of a big city, I hope this happens to me every time I go to the store.
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I have a lot of images, urges, etc associated with death, but they are pretty gross and I personally wouldn't want to share in this thread incase it gave someone an idea.

    But I know what you mean about hoping it happening by accident. I always wanted a car crash. I nearly got my wish last week, not with a car crash, but I have something wrong with my bowels which left me with a very low blood level, so much so that I should have dropped dead or had a heart attack. But They found out before it happened (curse my stubborn body lol) and I ended up having a couple of blood transfusions, not enough to totally save me or put me in the clear, just enough to tire me over.

    I hope that things get better for you. And that you don't end up in a situation such as this. But It is really good that you don't think you will kill yourself. By staying alive you are giving yourself hope that things will get better.

    Keep fighting for that hope, and take care of yourself
  3. asvt

    asvt Well-Known Member

    I know exactly what you mean I think about the exact same scenario I would put my head to the gun and just scream and shout telling him to do it. I bet that would freak him out. I also always dream about being a vigilante killing all the scum in this world the rapist, paedophiles, and unjust murders.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 12, 2007
  4. latley my most obsessive suicidal or personal injury thought has been to just let go of the steering wheel and floor it down a hill into about a 90* turn and just seeing what happens.

  5. Pneuma

    Pneuma Guest

    I found a way to kill myself with less than $10.00 worth of materials that can be bought at any drug store and it would be messy but fairly painless.

    I mainly think about it at night when I'm trying to sleep but can't.
  6. Erebos

    Erebos Well-Known Member

    Lately, the constant fantasies about jumping off a tall building are ever so vivid and recurring. Those few seconds of peaceful descent as the wind graces across my face. And I softly close my else just before I hit the ground. Also, drowning in the lake with a weight tied around my waist seems so easy. I see myself underneath the water. It's cold, it's dark. The sounds are muffled by the rippling water. My head starts to ache and I black out as water fills my lungs.

    These thoughts are all I have. They're comforting, in a bizarre way.
  7. worlds edge

    worlds edge Well-Known Member

    I've thought about this one so much I've even had dreams about it.

    I'm standing at a busy streetcorner in an anonymous US city, waiting for the light to turn so that I may cross the street. Someone comes up behind me and puts two bullets through the back of my head with a pistol equipped with a silencer. All I catch is a glimpse of a gloved hand as I go down and into a beautiful oblivion.

    Perhaps I've watched too many bad gangster movies, but this accomplishes everything I'd like to accomplish in terms of ending my life.

    • It is quick.

    • It is relatively painless.

    • It isn't suicide. No one will feel bitter towards me for dying. I'll be just another murder victim.

    Anyone know where I can hire a hitman? :rolleyes:

    Seriously, though, the first time I actually dreamt this I kind of freaked out. I guess some sort of weird auto-suggestion is at work. And clearly it gives lie to the old "if you die in a dream you die in real life" myth...though I suppose in the dream I technically seem to be waking up before I die.
  8. downmage

    downmage Well-Known Member

    I've had fantasies about jumping off the Golden Gate bridge. A few years ago I was going it too. I parked my car on the SF side of bridge and I walked on the walk-way going to Marin. I quickly identified the " suicide barrier " with was a chain link fence that went up and inward. There was no way in the world I could get over that fence. I didn't even try.

    Someone else happened that day as well that spooked me was, there was a guy, a homeless person walking on the other side of the bridge from the Marin side going into the city. This guy looked so beat-up by life..we then each looked at each other, I knew he was going to jump and he knew I came there to jump as well. I will never forget his face. I had never seen someone so in despair.

    I don't if the suicide barrier is still there or not. But it saved both of our lifes that day.

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