so this is my second to last year of highschool, and I messed it up completely to the point where I know no university would accept me. Next year's no good either considering applications are sent out mid to end of the first semester, and so even if I do pick myself up again it'd all be for nothing. Now I'm not sure why, but this has made me seriously consider suicide. I mean, I'm at the point where I'm trying to figure out how to explain this and trying to work out how I can do it. I dont think leaving a note with "dont take this personally, I just screwed up the whole IB diploma thing for me" would be fair. Anyways, I'm not on this site for advice on how to "do it". Wanting to do it badly, I'll find a way. I'm just still very surprised by this. Ive had suicidal thoughts for a long time now and to be honest this is not what I thought would make me finally take it seriously. And when I think about it logically I know that its ridiculous, there's more to life than just going to university, and its so superficial (I mean we've got people killing themselves for much more [not saying that this made it right, but it makes me doing it even more "wrong"]). I think I'm rambling, so I'll get to the point. Is this normal, or am I right to feel a bit weird (and slightly ungrateful, I'll admit) about this? I need togr get some sleep. Goodnight everyone.