I am nothing more than a self loathing, manipulative, disgusting excuse for a human being. That's not something I can change. That's part of who I am. I don't have a soul. And by that, I mean I have no morals. I can't stand my family. I find it absolutely horrific that I came from my mother. I should have died in her womb. I was two pounds anyway. I shouldn't have survived. My life can only get worse, but more importantly, the world is better off without me. I cannot think of one thing I've accomplished in my entire life for somebody else. I cannot even imagine myself helping someone else. I'm just there. Nobody notices me. So when I die, it won't be a big deal. But it will be a big deal to me, because it will be the best day of my life.