"You're going to Hell"

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by AstroAshton92, Dec 29, 2011.

  1. AstroAshton92

    AstroAshton92 Active Member

    What do you feel when you think about that statement?

    I get a sense of uncertainty, sickness, confusion, and anger. And also for some reason curiosity.

    I was raised Jehovah's Witness so I didn't get Christmas or the Tooth Fairy or Halloween, nothing other than the 4th of July and Thanksgiving really. And as we got older those holidays faded because it got harder to keep our family together. With no real values of developing relationships I struggled to band together with trust against our inner loneliness, and lost.

    And when I turned to Jehovah, exclaiming that I wanted him to take my life, and give it to someone more worthy, to end my suffering when all else around me wouldn't, I ripped the clouds apart to find th eyes of god and weep before them, admitting that I was weak and needed help from a hand stronger than mine. I waited for 2 straight years, watching shit falling around me and watching myself being carted from clinic to clinic, asked to not ask for my personal belongings, watching my pocket knife be confiscated, watching my mother watching the TV and half smiling at me as she asks how many drugs I've been on, 'really', and realizing that this is how she would see me for the rest of both of our lives, He never answered.
    I've been relying on blind faith and good intentions, as well my heart to guide me for the last decade.
    I don't have a god anymore, and I don't believe that humans are worth the shit we put up with. I don't steal, I don't lie, and I am nurturing to everything I touch, even those who aren't kind to me, not because I want something, but because I expect that any decent human being will do the same for me. Because they have just as much right to be on this miserable planet as I do. So as I move on and try to give my life substance after giving so much compassion and understanding to those who have shaped concrete ideals about my life, I come to find that it is all for nothing, and because I slept with someone once, reaching out for a feeling under skin, I will burn in hell in gasoline bra.

    How screwed am I really?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 29, 2011
  2. IntoTheWoods

    IntoTheWoods Guest

    If there were 2 people, you and someone who is the complete opposite of what you wrote about yourself, I would choose to be standing next to you.
     
  3. In a Lonely Place

    In a Lonely Place Well-Known Member

    This is hell trust me,once we're done here there is nothing to fear
     
  4. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    To be honest, when I hear that statement, I laugh. Hard. Admittedly, I'm atheist-agnostic, so I never take it seriously.

    However, from what I know about Catholic teachings, if you confess your sins you can be forgiven, giving you a second chance at heaven, if you believe in that, of course. For someone like you, you just have to do your best and god, in his infinite forgiveness, will forgive you (or so I've heard, I personally think it's a load of crap).
     
  5. maries

    maries Active Member

    hmm...before i felt like how you did. uncertainty, anger, and all that. but now i just think, "see ya there."
    and to me, you don't sound that screwed up. just as human as anyone else, except with a wee bit more feelings than those other people who use people like tissue.
     
  6. AstroAshton92

    AstroAshton92 Active Member

    After that point I sort of got curious as to where we are going in the after life. I have this idea that our bodies our not really important, they just go into the soil. But our souls...possibly live in a constant dream state where we're just living our lives all over again in different areas, which would explain why deja vu is so significant to me. I know I will probably not remember any of this, which makes me feel theres a reason people are absent minded as well.

    Just a theory
     
  7. Raven

    Raven Guest

    I am stumped that people still believe in hell, to me it is like believing that the earth is flat but I guess their are still people who believe in that to.When someone says that is where I am going I simply reminded them the express elevator is waiting and all my friends will be their anyway.
     
  8. maries

    maries Active Member

    you know, i've actually tried writing a book about that, the different world our souls must exist in. our bodies just seem to function like machines that there's gotta be more, something that allows us to feel emotions from thoughts and all that.