Life can terrible, or great. Sometimes your plans get cancelled, and you have nothing to do. Maybe you find something better. It's never sure. That can't be changed. But you always have yourself. People die, move on, change. Yet you are always there. If you love yourself, no amount of plan changes, people leaving, or age will break you. It's hard, it's confusing when you want to stop living, it's like that feeling will always be back. Even on a good day, thinking you'll feel that again can ruin it. It's not an issue of strength, it's not an issue of love, it's something you have to get past. For years I thought that was all I would feel. It seemed like it would be easier to just die. Then I would stop feeling that way later. Even a good day was to try being happy before I left. Now, a few years later.. I feel sad knowing life has to end. It's been a long journey. I went to different places, met different people, lost everything I used to know. Yet in my time alone, it dawned on me that I've always been there for my self. It's important to have others to offer a break, or offer some fun. But it's important to reflect on what you think, what you want, where you want to end up, and who you are vs who you want to be. I know those things, but sharing would be pointless. Only you can choose who you will be. You aren't stuck with the person you currently are. You're different now from when you were a kid, you'll be different when you're old from now. You don't have to be hurt forever. Just work to being the person you always knew you were. No matter what, offer your love to you, offer your sympathy, treat yourself like you would treat your best friend if they were hurt. It's hard to see it, but you would have gone if there wasn't someone helping you through. Even when you felt alone. Just keep going till you are the person you want to be, love yourself no matter who you currently are, and think about the small things that you live for. The world is always moving forward, new medicine, new technology, new rulers, new social standards, we may never live to see the next breakthrough, but you may be the one that starts it.