I'm still homeless. This homeless shelter, which promises housing, refuses to meet my disability accommodation needs. So they've made threats to kick me out for saying, "the unit you offered me IS NOT DISABLED ACCESSIBLE. I can't live there." Do I have a legal case? Yes. Do I have the energy left to fight a system intentionally set up to fail people like me? Nope. And now I've apparently got spindle cell soft tissue sarcoma. It's so rare, there are no designated sarcoma specialists at the big research hospital I go to. I've got to laugh, frankly, if I had breast cancer there would be like 13 specialists I could see. My surgeon? Well he works a lot with gastroenterology cancers. Guess he's doing me a solid, practicing sarcoma surgery on my leg. Aaaand they have to put me out for the surgery, of course. So I'm terrified. They last time they put me under, it was after I hurt myself last year. I barely made it out of that alive. I feel often, that I did die last year. I'm in hell. Homeless. Huge losses on top of losses. A cancer that can't even do me the favor of being common enough for the doctors to have a solid plan. To my questions, the nurse oncologist said "we'll know more during surgery." Talk about feeling powerless, you know? Powerlessness on top of powerlessness. I'm pretty sure next to no one I can think of would trade lives with me.