Zero Coping Resources

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Inanimate, Sep 15, 2016.

  1. Inanimate

    Inanimate Well-Known Member


    I'm on the precipice again. I feel like I have no emotional support and no way to cope; I don't really have friends so go figure. I'm not particularly close to my family -- at least I don't feel that way. They know I struggle with depression, or rather, they knew. Anyway, I don't feel like openly discussing the roots of my depression, but basically I'm at rock-bottom (yet ironically on the precipice). I dropped out of college nearly two years ago because my depression became too much of a hindrance, and I've been on a hiatus since then. I've taken small steps towards recovery throughout this last year such as working out, and fairly recently job searching and occasionally learning how to drive, but essentially I'm still very much at rock-bottom. Even though I had invested so much time and mental energy into getting a certain job, I was stood up, and everything has been crashing down since then. I understand that I shouldn't give up based on that one experience, but considering my circumstances (i.e., social anxiety, etc.) and what jobs I'm limited to because of my total lack of experience, I'm utterly drained. I've been undergoing a relapse in terms of self-harm lately. I don't feel like it's merely a lapse anymore since I'm habitually and immoderately harming myself again. Unfortunately, I don't feel like I have a reason to stop, unless I'm threatened as usual -- woo-hoo. I'm overwhelmed with obsession, envy, and as a result, severe self-hatred, so you can see why I'm not quite concerned for my well-being.

    On the whole, I feel as though I'm on the brink of death. I'm completely alone. I might not be alone in this feeling, but in terms of emotional support, I'm just gone. I don't have a distraction nor a coping mechanism in the world to help me, aside from reaching out here... although, receiving a response isn't much of a realistic expectation as of late; I'm not gonna just ignore that. I'm bitter. I don't normally complain about such things because I know how it is, but considering what I've been throwing out there and how I've been feeling, I'm not too keen on being patient, but I suppose creating my own threads like I am now would be more effective. Now that I'm done being a pussy, I'm going to continue desiring death.
  2. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hey Inanimate, I'm sorry you're having a difficult time and I wish I knew what to say or how to help. Unfortunately I don't my friend, just know that I care about you and hope you find some relief soon. Take care of yourself and stay safe.
    Inanimate likes this.
  3. Deety

    Deety Well-Known Member

    Hi inanimate, I'm sorry things are so rough for you. I empathise with how you're feeling. I'd like to know more if you'd like to share more. Take care and keep reaching out.
    Inanimate likes this.
  4. Inanimate

    Inanimate Well-Known Member

    You might not think that what you're saying isn't enough, but there's a significant difference between merely viewing my post and briefly responding with concern. I'm not so greedy as to disregard a post because it's not lengthy or it doesn't provide solid advice. It's comforting knowing that someone out there is concerned about me, and I was actually able to sleep more soundly having read your response; it's enough to at least hold me off, which IMO is quite helpful. Advice, while it is essential, it isn't always what I'm looking for because most of the time I'm aware of what I need to do, which is often the cause of my feeling worse. If I wanted advice, I would've likely just asked. Emotional support, however, has always been productive to some degree.

    Thank you.
    I don't know what else to say at the moment, but I'll consider sharing more. I appreciate your curiosity. Some of my core reasons for being depressed are rather embarrassing, so if I'm not inclined to share, you'd know why.
    Brian777 likes this.
  5. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hugs. Sorry that you are struggling.
    Inanimate likes this.
  6. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    I don't have much emotional support either because I just can't afford therapy, but this forum is my source of it and it's helped me a lot. I gave up long ago trying to use (for lack of better word) my friends and family as emotional support because they seemed to continually dismiss my suffering with flippant suggestions to "get over it", "go for a walk" or "compare yourself to others in worse situations". They just didn't care enough or didn't want to make time for me. I don't lean on my bf too much but once in a while when he comes to me and offers his support, I open up a little. We've experienced problems I'm only just starting to rebuild my trust in him. But that's why I joined here in August, because I felt like I was utterly alone with my pain. I'm sorry to hear that you felt ignored before, I've felt that way at times on other forums and it's not a good feeling. Hope you're hanging in there. xx
    Inanimate likes this.
  7. Inanimate

    Inanimate Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the free hugs... I assume. o_O Unless you require MORE HUGS? :D... Right? o_O
    I'm sorry that you're in a similar predicament. All of those dismissive suggestions piss me off to a degree. Here's my likely response to all of those:

    "Get over it."
    "You're useless."
    "Go for a walk."
    "Go fuck yourself."
    "Compare yourself to others in worse situations."
    *rant on how that is the epitome of insanity*

    Anyway, I'm doing better today. Thank you.
    Brian777 and Frances M like this.