zombie-ised

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by a person, May 22, 2007.

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  1. a person

    a person Guest

    i am becoming a fucking zombie. Slowly... i swear i am going crazy. But do crazy people actually know they're going crazy?? it means nothing to me at all anymore, acheiving stuff, getting good grades. It means nothing to keep winning and doing well. there's nothing good from it. its just repetitive, and the same things over and over. its boring. the only things that arent boring i can't even do too much of. its unfair. And i'm tired, and pissed off. and not thinking straight. then again i wasn't thinking at all today either really. Or well i was, but i wasnt really. But its all so confusing. i'm so unhappy, and i dont fucking know why either. its not as if i actually have reason to be - everything's looking up at the moment. but i'm still so unhappy...
     
  2. Tara

    Tara Guest

    :arms::hug:

    just know im here to listen.
     
  3. a person

    a person Guest

    im at school now. sometimes i hate english class. i mean i love english, but i'm so alone in english, and aus, and vf, and pe too - i am seperated from all my friends in pretty much all of my classes. i feel like such a loner.. i havent said anything at all in the whole class. none of my friends are in my classes. i always get seperated... and the people i'm with dont really want me around much. i'm over it mostly, but i hate it. i'm lonely... i'm lonely so much. i hate it. :cry:
     
  4. Tara

    Tara Guest

    i was the same. it always seemed that they would all be together and i'd be alone.

    It will be okay, try and talk to the person sitting next to you?
    just think its only a couple of months til end of the school year! (i dont know how old you are/how long u got left in school) but next year you could be with your friends

    :arms:
     
  5. a person

    a person Guest

    im really sorry... i must seem like im rambling to you. i really dont mean to, honest. i'm being a coward too - not using my member name.

    i've been at this school for years... everyone's made all their friends already. the only problem with me is that i never *really* made any - or the ones i did have are never in any of my classes.

    i dont get it anyway. i go to school to escape home, but i go home to escape school. i dont win either way. but then during the day, i'm *mostly* ok. its just the nights. telling ppl is out of the question though; i can't risk teachers at school worrying about me again. i already had that happen last year.

    and yet, if you met me without knowing all this, you'd think i have no reason to complain. i mean, i have it all going for me. load of people say i dont know how lucky i am. i just laugh. or am i being ungrateful? bah..
     
  6. Tara

    Tara Guest

    dont worry about it! ramble as much as you like! thats what SFs for! get it all out!
    You're not being a coward :arms:

    I can understand. But like people have said before we use "masks" to disguise how we feel. Just becuase you LOOK like you've got everything doesnt mean you do. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors, noone knows what we think and go through.

    Think of something that will take you're mind off it at night. I know you cant stay on here all night, you need you're sleep. but anything that will keep you happy will do....watch you're fave show, eat icecream, talk to friends ANYTHING!

    what about making new ones though? doesnt mean you have to bother with them out of class. i used to have ones i'd hang round with at dinner/after school and then "class friends" people i'd talk to in lessons, sit with, etc.
     
  7. SeemsPerfect

    SeemsPerfect Guest

    I know EXACTLY what you mean.

    Flirtatioustara is 100% right in my opinion. And I don't think you're being ungrateful AT ALL. I think when you find the trigger for your depression/unhappiness it'll help you to deal with it a little more.

    I'm glad you're posting how you feel, though. Getting it out - even online - is better than keeping it to yourself.
     
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