Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by readytoctb, Mar 6, 2010.

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  1. readytoctb

    readytoctb Account Closed

    It's been over a month now since I was supposed to die, over a month since my oldest (former) friend betrayed me. I have since that day been nothing more than a zombie, a walking shell, I forfeited my life that day but my body was denied the right to follow my soul because I made the mistake of trusting someone I thought gave a damn about me. Everyday is a fog as I somehow exist without purpose or reason, I feel nothing but pain, nothing but sadness, nothing but desire for things to finally be over with. I would like to end things right now but sadly things are so much worse now that I have to stick around for a few more days in order to try and sort out some of the mess that was caused by the betrayal. I hate having to wake up every morning and still be here, my only consolation is that things will be over soon, and that this time no one will be able to interfere because no one will know when, where and how.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    :hug: I don't know what happened, but it's obvious your trust in people has been broken too many times.

    I know words can't fix this ... can't take away your pain. But if you need to talk, or just want someone to listen, you can PM me.
  3. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    i am still here for you and always will be.
  4. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    :no: please...


    i am so sorry you are hurting.

    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 6, 2010
  5. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    ready... just hold on... talk us through it, and let us help you.
  6. rostova

    rostova Member

    I, too, have been betrayed by more people than I can count. But you're a good person, right? Are you the *only* good person on Earth? Probably not--and you need to seek out other people like you, people who don't deliberately cause pain. They are out there. Sometimes they are a little quieter than the rest. ;-) When you find just one other good person, that can be enough to restore your faith in humanity.

    I hope this helps in some way.
  7. readytoctb

    readytoctb Account Closed

    I can not trust again, because people are under the misconception that they believe they know what is best for you. My former friend believed it was best for me to live so she betrayed me and called the cops to keep me from killing myself. She was wrong, she knew that what I wanted(and still do) is to die, she agreed to just be there for me to talk to during my last days, but in the end she had to clear her conscience so she betrayed me. So no, I will not trust again, I will do what I should have done a month ago, but this time no one will no till after I am gone.
  8. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    :hug: The members here don't have the ability to do that to you unless they know where you are. You don't have to tell us anything you aren't comfortable with.

    The offer to PM still stands. I won't ask you where you're located. If you don't want me to know, I don't need to. But I'll listen if you want to talk.
  9. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Same goes with me ready... my PM box is open
  10. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    **hugs** i know you are in a lot of pain. i am sorry you hurt so much.
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