So I know my answer to every question comes around to Jessica but, well, I’m proud to have been with her.
Ask a dude what he is, and most will answer with their profession. My dad would say he’s a longshoreman. My cousin would say doctor. Some would say they’re a father, or a husband. I fall into the last category; the only identity I’ve ever really taken pride in was being her man.
I mean, firstly, she had options, you know? And when we got together was the first time I was ever aware of others being envious of me. Ultimately that’s a small thing, but it was pretty far from my usual experience and it felt pretty damn good.
But, more importantly, was what our relationship really represented to me. And this touches on what
@JMG said.
I go back and forth between ruminating to an unhealthy degree about certain experiences, and dismissing them as trivial and unimpactful. But, objectively, I’ve seen and gone through some fucked up stuff and it has (and continues to) affect me negatively.
But being with her showed me that parts of me that I had thought missing were still there, just maybe hiding. We didn’t have what anyone would consider a “dream life.” But she showed me that I was still capable of trust, of building positive relationships, of caring for others, of being happy and (more importantly) content.
So I was proud to find that, despite all the shit life has thrown at me, I am merely damaged, not irreparably broken. And proud to have been shown that by the best person I ever knew.
