Its finally come to the point of the "Plan". One of the questions they always ask, do you feel suicidal? Do you have a plan?
You can answer yes to the first one but answering yes to the second is a no-no but Ive hit the second today.
Today was bad, as in very bad. A lot of tears and self loathing and I decided maybe it was getting to be time to leave. Just like that a load dropped off my shoulders and I feel content. Ive realized Im in control of my exit. I dont have a time yet, but knowing I control it and how I can do it has lightened things on me...seems like that would be even more oppressive, but its not. For the first time in a while, I smiled a real smile.
You can answer yes to the first one but answering yes to the second is a no-no but Ive hit the second today.
Today was bad, as in very bad. A lot of tears and self loathing and I decided maybe it was getting to be time to leave. Just like that a load dropped off my shoulders and I feel content. Ive realized Im in control of my exit. I dont have a time yet, but knowing I control it and how I can do it has lightened things on me...seems like that would be even more oppressive, but its not. For the first time in a while, I smiled a real smile.