Anticipatory Grief

liemu33

Well-Known Member
#1
I'm living hard times when I'm going to lose people very dear to me. My entire life I have been used to having those people to be there for me as safe haven. If not physically near me, but still alive in my home country - even far away. They are very old and they had some serious sickness, back pain and neoplasm. I have been thinking they don't have much time anymore.

I have already lost one very important person in my life many years ago, and that will happen to me again. And when that happen, I'm afraid I will lose my all motivation to keep going on in this life and I will never feel myself good again. After that it probably will feel like those people never existed in my life. There will be less and less people who care about me.

I will be VERY lonely in this life ;(
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#2
i'm sorry that you may lose those close to you. but they are old which means it's finally their time to go. if they lived a good life and were fulfilled and happy then it's a life that should be celebrated not mourned. and the part of your life that they were involved with you is something that you will never lose, they'll always be in your heart. try to focus on finding new people to be a significant part of your life.

mike...*hug*shake
 
#7
So sorry *sadhug Give yourself time to grieve - be gentle with yourself while you feel this awful. The hurt WILL lessen with time, and you must remember she would not want you to suffer. Reach out to your family who knew her to honor her memory.

I believe that even when we lose someone, it's not like they "never existed" - they are with us not only in memories but I believe they are with us in a living part of our consciousness - the part that knows what they would say or do because we know them so well.
 

A_J_R

Well-Known Member
#8
I'm so sorry to read about your loss. I have lost a lot of people close to me as well. It's never easy, but it's OK to grieve. And it's OK to feel empty. Everything is OK and you do what you need to and what feels right for you. There's no timetable on recovery and there's no easy answers, but always feel free to reach out here and talk. And take care. Again, I'm very sorry.
 

So so tired

Well-Known Member
#16
Hi @liemu33
I am so sorry to hear of your loss, my sincere condolences *sadhug
Grief is such a challenge, mentally and emotionally.
It does undoubtedly change us and perhaps our perception on life for sure.
There are several stages to grief and everyone is different in their response and feeling lost and empty is totally understandable and part of the process.

I lost my husband very suddenly and unexpectedly and to this day, I am tortured by the fact I never said goodbye properly.
I mention this because I would ask you to
Please let your loved ones know that you do love them and say everything you need too
.
There are those that leave such a big hole in our lives when they pass but their influence and presence in our lives leaves an everlasting in print on us on, so much so that I believe it would be impossible for you to feel like they never existed.
I hope you are doing OK
One day at a time *hug

So so tired.
 

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