I'm concerned about my fatigue. For many years, my family thought I was lazy or asocial. But most days, by 6 pm, I feel so drained, so tired. Not physically, but mentally. I feel the need to isolate myself, reduce demands from the external world (social demands, etiquette, even clothes), and maximize my comfort.
I used to think this was just me being too introverted, or not trying hard enough to go out and socialize more. I also considered the possibility that I had a medical condition, but after many years of tests and doctor visits, nothing was ever found.
And it's not like I used to have energy and suddenly became this way. I've been like this for most of my life, if not all of it.
(I mention autism because my psychologist said I have autistic traits, but I have not been officially diagnosed.)
I was also on antidepressants for three months earlier this year due to anxiety. While I was taking them, I noticed I felt less stressed. My negative emotions were still there, but they felt "smoother." Normally, my mood feels like a highly irregular graph, with sharp lines constantly going up and down across the X-axis. On antidepressants, it was more like a small, smooth curve downward that would gradually come back up. It felt much more stable, if that metaphor makes sense.
I also noticed I had more mental energy. Even at night, I felt like I had more energy, more willpower, and less need to "turn off" my brain.
It's now been three months since I stopped taking escitalopram, and I'm back to where I was before. The stress is back, and the low energy is back.
Can anyone relate to this? Does your fatigue feel more like mental exhaustion than physical tiredness? And do you believe it is associated with autism?
I used to think this was just me being too introverted, or not trying hard enough to go out and socialize more. I also considered the possibility that I had a medical condition, but after many years of tests and doctor visits, nothing was ever found.
And it's not like I used to have energy and suddenly became this way. I've been like this for most of my life, if not all of it.
(I mention autism because my psychologist said I have autistic traits, but I have not been officially diagnosed.)
I was also on antidepressants for three months earlier this year due to anxiety. While I was taking them, I noticed I felt less stressed. My negative emotions were still there, but they felt "smoother." Normally, my mood feels like a highly irregular graph, with sharp lines constantly going up and down across the X-axis. On antidepressants, it was more like a small, smooth curve downward that would gradually come back up. It felt much more stable, if that metaphor makes sense.
I also noticed I had more mental energy. Even at night, I felt like I had more energy, more willpower, and less need to "turn off" my brain.
It's now been three months since I stopped taking escitalopram, and I'm back to where I was before. The stress is back, and the low energy is back.
Can anyone relate to this? Does your fatigue feel more like mental exhaustion than physical tiredness? And do you believe it is associated with autism?
