It just seems like week after week has been difficult to get through. So far this week I have been feeling more overwhelmed than usual about my life, in particular, hating socializing and yet also not being able to get rid of the desire to do so more. I've been hurt so many times and I am just tired of trying. And it's times like this when I really start to question my life. Sorry, I'm not really making sense.
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Consistently overwhelmed
- Thread starter sadhart
- Start date
I took today off, hoping to take a step back, but today, I had some...things happen.
I went to this AA meeting and someone needed the banners with the 12 steps and traditions hung up. I had to get on this table to do so and the whole time I'm a little worried the table may give way, so when I hung them up, I didn't realize right away that they were crooked. But this lady did and was being kind of uptight about it, saying her "OCD" side couldn't handle it or something. But it just made me feel kind of bad for messing up like that.
Then I went to this store and got overcharged by three dollars for something. I don't think he saw the price on it so he just decided what it was on the spot. The thing that bothered me was that for whatever reason I didn't speak up and say anything. I guess I didn't want to be difficult but I just felt dumb about it.
After that, I went to the grocery store and ended up seeing a woman from my past. It was the first time I had seen her since 2006 back when I was going to college. I don't think she recognized me, but i definitely knew who she was. She came into my life, claiming I was her "assignment" from God which apparently meant that she could act pushy and overbearing towards me. Not only that, but when she would want me to open up about certain things bothering me at the time, she was so belittling and dismissive. It's too much to get into but basically, I have resented her since, even though I know deep down she meant well and most of her behavior probably came from her own pain she wasn't dealing with. But still, it's hard as she was one of three people that summer who impacted my life in a negative way.
I am sorry if this didn't make sense, but I am so tired of feeling like any attempt to feel good gets derailed either by external things or my own inadequacies.
I went to this AA meeting and someone needed the banners with the 12 steps and traditions hung up. I had to get on this table to do so and the whole time I'm a little worried the table may give way, so when I hung them up, I didn't realize right away that they were crooked. But this lady did and was being kind of uptight about it, saying her "OCD" side couldn't handle it or something. But it just made me feel kind of bad for messing up like that.
Then I went to this store and got overcharged by three dollars for something. I don't think he saw the price on it so he just decided what it was on the spot. The thing that bothered me was that for whatever reason I didn't speak up and say anything. I guess I didn't want to be difficult but I just felt dumb about it.
After that, I went to the grocery store and ended up seeing a woman from my past. It was the first time I had seen her since 2006 back when I was going to college. I don't think she recognized me, but i definitely knew who she was. She came into my life, claiming I was her "assignment" from God which apparently meant that she could act pushy and overbearing towards me. Not only that, but when she would want me to open up about certain things bothering me at the time, she was so belittling and dismissive. It's too much to get into but basically, I have resented her since, even though I know deep down she meant well and most of her behavior probably came from her own pain she wasn't dealing with. But still, it's hard as she was one of three people that summer who impacted my life in a negative way.
I am sorry if this didn't make sense, but I am so tired of feeling like any attempt to feel good gets derailed either by external things or my own inadequacies.
Sorry that you are having a run of things happen. It happens and it's hard not to take it personally a lot of the time. I still remember a day ages ago where so much had gone wrong and I was already exhausted with it. I'm reminded of it by you mentioned the short changing from the store as I went to the shop to treat myself to some cookies to cheer myself up, in the meantime I'd put some proper food in my oven. I got back from the shop and looked at my change from the shop and realised I'd been short changed by the kid behind the shop. While I was mulling over whether he'd done it deliberately or by accident and why I hadn't thought to check it properly in the shop, my glass oven door shattered with a a terrifying noise. As it's safety glass there was no damage to me but it scared me out of my skin and then I had to start cleaning up all this glass that had got in my food as well and I just felt defeated by life in that moment. Some days just suck and you just couldn't make it up! I hope you have a better run of events coming up and wish you well.