Well, a little like my story - multiple substance disorder, MSD. Nowadays I do not trust any doctor any longer - and if I need something (mostly to reduce or taper out) I just tell him what to prescribe me. Its only money, not help. And some doctors do not even know what they prescribe and the long term effect, I never had the chance to do withdrawals in hospitals. Working in countries without these possibilities made it very, very hard to survive and sometimes it took me weeks to be on zero with everything (including beer). But it worked until now all time - so it seems as least I have a little power. I am stuck on only one single medication that will stay all my life - Tramadol, which I take (in several forms over the years) since 40 years. no chance to let this go. Smoking, drinking, Xanax, Lithium, Diazepam etc. have all been part of my life. I found out however that the will to stop can be very strong. The more sport I tried to do (sometimes only 5 push-ups, then it got black in front of my eyes), the more active I am, the better it is. Now, as retired, its cool - Gym, shopping (do not eat, only drink fruit juice, milk, tea, multi vitamin tabs, water with lemon, fresh pressed fruitjuice) then pause, administrative issues, then I go on a long nordic walk (mostly 10 - 15 MK). I try to concentrate on positive things - even if not easy (I still cry often, depression). But music, nature, sport, paragliding helped me a lot. Send you a nice song. With greetings from Spain.
Soledad from El Bola
