Do suicide notes help or hurt suicide survivors?

[anonmn]

"Suicide survivors" being people who lost a loved one to suicide.

No one kills themselves to hurt others or out of anger. They do it because they are in pain. Sometimes there is anger as well, and so I would imagine those notes would be very hurtful.

In fact I think most suicidal people feel a great deal of guilt and shame. Partly due to the stigma, but also because they believe they are letting down everyone they know.

I would imagine a note would answer some questions surrounding the suicide and possibly shorten the path to closure, long though it may still be. I could also see how a note would create more questions than answers. Maybe it is better for the survivors to have less to ruminate on.

What do you think?

 

[LDA]

A good suicide note would be a heartfelt apology to everyone for basically ruining their lives and making sure they knew it wasn't their fault.

 

[anonmn]

That is very kind.

But I don't think the mods want us to be giving advice on how to go about a suicide, no matter how well-intentioned.

I'm aware this thread strays closely to that, and maybe it was a bad idea. I'm just going to try to keep the discussion focused on the survivors. Or maybe I'm overreacting.