Everything I do goes wrong

[AFallenAngel]

Hello, It’s been a while since I posted anything on this site… well, now I think I just need to vent a little bit.
Everything was going right until yesterday.
I got a job, I started Monday, and yesterday they say “you’re not what we’re looking for” and now I have nothing again. I felt so bad, It was the first job I got and I was really trying my best, and feels like still it’s not enough. So, today, I was sleeping when someone suddenly knock my door, so I woke up kind scared and VERY disoriented, the people said I should remove my car in front my house a bit, cause de truck couldn’t pass (here, where I live, the streets aren’t large and everyone has the habit to leave the cars in front of their houses) so I was driving, but I was so disoriented (cause I just woke up) that I couldn’t think straight about what was right or left, and for some reason a lot of people were screaming on the street, (I still not sure what happened) and I ended up crashing the car in another truck (it wasn’t serious, I’ll just have to pay for the paint again).

so that’s what happens, and now I feel like shit. I never want do drive a *ucking car again in my life (and I used to love driving) and I’m so stressed about everything and now I hate myself so much…

I don’t know why do I keep making mistakes? Why do I keep messing everything up and why do I keep disappointing everyone that I care about?? I really just wanted to disappear, even if was for a few hours or days… everything I try to do goes wrong, I’m never enough for anything, and I don’t even know how to act like a normal and functional human being? Why can’t I just be like everybody else?

 

[IDontWantToDie]

It will be allright. Don't stress about the job, I understand, to be rejected sucks. But that just means there is some place else where you will fit in just fine. Hell, maybe after a week you would had hated that job anyway. Just keep looking, to be rejected or to quit is completeley normal. Dont let anyone make you feel shitty for not getting it right away. Were just humans, and most job givers are a**holes. So be the boss, take charge.
As for the car, that sucks. But you said it yourself, you were stressed and disoriented. This shit happens. It sucks but it happens. It HAS happened, its in the past now. Wait for the next morning and start a new page.
I know how self hate eats you up. I really do. And I also know that these toughts and shame are not real, they are parasites in our head.
Hugs, hope you will feel better soon.

 

[iloverachel]