Feeling pretty depressed today and in general like s**t. Suicide has been on my mind a lot lately. I've tried a couple times before but I'm obviously still here. I have a lot to be thankful for, but I'm still depressed and still think about killing myself. I don't get it, I shouldn't feel this way. God I'm so f**ked up. I hate myself so damn much. Not sure that I really want to die, but if I could just fade away I would.
Feeling like s**t today
- Thread starter BecksterJ
- Start date
Feelings are always legitimate. There's no such thing as not having a right to feel a particular way.
The reasons we give for why we feel the way we do can some times be off the mark, but the feelings themselves are legit.
Maybe there are some treatment methods in my signature links that would help.
How much of a factor is your husband, and the way he behaves, a factor?
The reasons we give for why we feel the way we do can some times be off the mark, but the feelings themselves are legit.
Maybe there are some treatment methods in my signature links that would help.
How much of a factor is your husband, and the way he behaves, a factor?
Having these thoughts doesn't mean something is wrong with you nor that you should hate yourself for it. Many people feel this way - like there life has no purpose nor fulfillment on earth. Not everyone has the same story, so which is why it is helpful to figure out what happened that triggered these thoughts weather by yourself or with help.
Welcome.
Why do you hate yourself? Are there things about you that you would like to try to change perhaps?
Many people have what may appear to be a "good" life, at least on paper, but still suffer with depression. So I can understand how you may feel that your feelings don't "match" but it's now a matter of trying to deal with the feelings which are real. Have you tried any treatment? How long have you been feeling this way?
Why do you hate yourself? Are there things about you that you would like to try to change perhaps?
Many people have what may appear to be a "good" life, at least on paper, but still suffer with depression. So I can understand how you may feel that your feelings don't "match" but it's now a matter of trying to deal with the feelings which are real. Have you tried any treatment? How long have you been feeling this way?
Thanks for all the kind words!
I'm not sure what's behind these recent suicidal thoughts. They were gone for almost a year but they've slowly come back more and more. I also quit cutting for a long time, but I picked that back up a few months ago. I'm totally addicted to it again.
My husband isn't much help. We've been through so much of this stuff the last few years, and he knows he can't do much to really help. I love him, but we have very different views on depression, medication and therapy. My friends are supportive but they don't really understand me or my struggles. I'm not close to any of my siblings or my parents. I don't really have anyone I can be totally real with. Thankfully I do have a therapist that I really like.
I've hated myself since I was young. I was abused and my family just covered it up and pretended like it never happened. I know in my head that I never did anything to deserve what happened, but I still blame myself. I hate myself for that. I've had incredibly low self esteem as long as I can remember. That self loathing drives a lot of my self destructive behaviors. I constantly just want to hurt myself.
I'm not sure what's behind these recent suicidal thoughts. They were gone for almost a year but they've slowly come back more and more. I also quit cutting for a long time, but I picked that back up a few months ago. I'm totally addicted to it again.
My husband isn't much help. We've been through so much of this stuff the last few years, and he knows he can't do much to really help. I love him, but we have very different views on depression, medication and therapy. My friends are supportive but they don't really understand me or my struggles. I'm not close to any of my siblings or my parents. I don't really have anyone I can be totally real with. Thankfully I do have a therapist that I really like.
I've hated myself since I was young. I was abused and my family just covered it up and pretended like it never happened. I know in my head that I never did anything to deserve what happened, but I still blame myself. I hate myself for that. I've had incredibly low self esteem as long as I can remember. That self loathing drives a lot of my self destructive behaviors. I constantly just want to hurt myself.
I'm glad you have a therapist working with you. Have you tried medication or anything else? It can be good to complement methods sometimes, especially if one way is not working, or working well enough, then something has to change.
Is your therapist helping you with the self esteem issues? Do you do any exercises to try to improve this? Self-love goes a very long way.
Is your therapist helping you with the self esteem issues? Do you do any exercises to try to improve this? Self-love goes a very long way.