Financial problems

[a63114]

I always was a little bit suicidal - couldn't handle bad thoughts, social obligations but self-harm helped me deal with those problems. I've cut myself, burned, beaten. Some parts of my body are completely messed up. A couple of years ago it all changed because I've found a girlfriend. She was the first person who really loved me and I was so happy. I felt like a real person.
But she cheated on me and left. I tried to get her back, even begged but it looks like she doesn't like me anymore.
In the end I finally decided to suicide. I always had suicidal thoughts but never had the courage to kill myself.
To keep myself from living I took a lot of money in debt and now I'm here still unable to kill myself or live since I don't even have enough money to go get myself some food.
I guess if I don't get enough courage to kill myself in the end I'll just die from starvation, lol
Either way, just wanted to tell a story. ty

 

[Walker]

Hey there
First, there's no woman worth killing yourself over. Seriously. They're are girls out there by the hundreds. You can be happy with a multitude of women in this life. None are worth dying for.

Debt can be overcome. Do you need a new job? A second job? Bankruptcy?

 

[may71]

If you are in the US or Canada, you may want to call 211 or visit www.211.org

They can help you with food, healthcare, and other things too

There are community pantries/food banks that might be able to help. There's also food stamps and other assistance.

A community legal clinic or law school clinic may be able to give you some free help declaring bankruptcy.

I'm sorry that your relationship ended the way it did. It's always hard to lose someone that you love, but especially hard if you feel like they betrayed your trust.

I don't know... maybe someday you could be back on speaking terms again at least. It might help if there are still some things that have gone unsaid between you and her.

 

[a63114]

Hey there
First, there's no woman worth killing yourself over. Seriously. They're are girls out there by the hundreds. You can be happy with a multitude of women in this life. None are worth dying for.

Debt can be overcome. Do you need a new job? A second job? Bankruptcy?

She was my entire world, friend. I'm the reason why she left because I took her for granted and was an asshole to her. I hate myself for that and want to give myself as much pain and suffering as I can manage.

Sure I need a job and it would be great to deal with the debt, but fuck it. I deserved all of that. I wish I had enough strength to beat myself to death.

If you are in the US or Canada, you may want to call 211 or visit www.211.org

They can help you with food, healthcare, and other things too

There are community pantries/food banks that might be able to help. There's also food stamps and other assistance.

A community legal clinic or law school clinic may be able to give you some free help declaring bankruptcy.

I'm sorry that your relationship ended the way it did. It's always hard to lose someone that you love, but especially hard if you feel like they betrayed your trust.

I don't know... maybe someday you could be back on speaking terms again at least. It might help if there are still some things that have gone unsaid between you and her.

Thank you for the help.
She hates me now. I just hope that if I successfully kill myself she will understand that I regret all of my mistakes and she'll forgive me.

 

[Kiwi2016]

I am so sorry that you are enduring so much right now...and glad that you reached out here on SF as this is a safe place and you are not alone as there are so many here who can offer advice support and encouragement so please keep posting.