First Thanksgiving

[foreverforgotten]

Very overwhelmed by the holidays.. My first since mom passed in May. This was our holiday together... My roommate is having 10 people over tomorrow for dinner. Yes. Ten.

... As an introvert, I get overstimulated easily,
by noise. they are staying until 9pm. It will be hard to be around everyone fir that long. Like damn.

We'll play board games, which is cool enough. But with 10 people, for hours at a time? I feel like Woah. Its surreal to me.. how extroverted my roomate is. Like.. How does she breathe? That feels suffocating...

Not to mention.. This is the first Thanksgiving I won't be eating with mom. Basically no family of my own now. Someone elses family.
And I'm grieving.

To be honest, I just want a quiet night alone...
I just want to eat at Dennys. or get a pizza and chill with a movie. Alone..
How do I navigate this? What do I do for boundaries, when it becomes too much? Without being the weirdo?

This was me and my moms holiday. I'm just feeling too down and mellow for all of this.

Saying no, is not an option though. She is technically my landlord. And she takes things personally..

 

[Rasmus]

I'm sorry, it's not easy to spent this days alone.
Is there any way that you can explain to her what is going on? You are on a different situation, maybe she will understand what you are going through.

 

[Aves]

I’m sorry about the loss of your Mum, I can’t imagine how you must be feeling especially with Thanksgiving being something that you enjoyed with her. This may not be helpful, but one thing I do when I have something coming up that I’m anxious about is devise a plan to just maybe help with those feelings a bit. So for example, you could ask yourself "if I’m feeling really overwhelmed, can I go somewhere away from everybody for 10 minutes or so? Can I talk to my roommate about maybe taking some time out to myself if it all gets a bit too much?" It’s a shame your roommate is not more understanding because even though she is technically your landlord, she should (in my opinion) be more understanding to your feelings and preferences. You live there with her so it’s your home too. I’m sorry I can’t be of anymore help, I just hope it goes ok and is not too distressing for you.

 

[foreverforgotten]

I’m sorry about the loss of your Mum, I can’t imagine how you must be feeling especially with Thanksgiving being something that you enjoyed with her. This may not be helpful, but one thing I do when I have something coming up that I’m anxious about is devise a plan to just maybe help with those feelings a bit. So for example, you could ask yourself "if I’m feeling really overwhelmed, can I go somewhere away from everybody for 10 minutes or so? Can I talk to my roommate about maybe taking some time out to myself if it all gets a bit too much?" It’s a shame your roommate is not more understanding because even though she is technically your landlord, she should (in my opinion) be more understanding to your feelings and preferences. You live there with her so it’s your home too. I’m sorry I can’t be of anymore help, I just hope it goes ok and is not too distressing for you.

Thank you no no! your post helps a lot..
It ended up being OK. I just had to take bathroom breaks when bit got too loud. But it was OK.
"You live there with her so it’s your home too." I haven't thought much like this before, just because its her house, but you're right, I think I've just been trying to be comfortable living in someone else's home, that I forgot I'm paying rent too... So I have a right to privacy and space too... So its OK If,I'm not around them constantly....

 

[Aves]

Thank you no no! your post helps a lot..
It ended up being OK. I just had to take bathroom breaks when bit got too loud. But it was OK.
"You live there with her so it’s your home too." I haven't thought much like this before, just because its her house, but you're right, I think I've just been trying to be comfortable living in someone else's home, that I forgot I'm paying rent too... So I have a right to privacy and space too... So its OK If,I'm not around them constantly....

I’m really glad it went ok, I hope you don’t think I’m being patronising but well done! That can’t have been easy for you so well done for getting through it. And yeah, you definitely have that right. You’re helping her with rent just as much as she is helping you with a place to live. I’m glad I could help 😊