Yes. I can honestly say I know how you feel. It's a feeling I've lived with for quite a few years now. My biggest fear in the world was losing my husband, and all we did was argue every single goddamned day, unable to communicate, unable to compromise on anything. We've always been two completely different people in so many aspects, and I was so terrified that I'd end up alone because I don't know who I would even be without him. I thought I'd probably have a nervous breakdown if that were ever the case. We've been together for 9 years now and I don't know what life without him for me would even look like...most likely, though, it would be fucking miserable, perhaps to the point that I would no longer even want to live it. I've thought through every aspect of this possibility and wondered what the hell I would do with myself if my worst nightmare came true. Every single day, I kid you not, I'd wake up and go to sleep paranoid as hell, feeling nothing but fear. It got to the point where I was diagnosed with panic disorder and prescribed benzos, for fuck's sake. I felt like I was losing my mind. Many studies show that people who live in fear constantly, and/or in a threatening or abusive environment, their brain basically adapts to said environment and they become extremely emotionally reactive to the point that even the littlest "threats" seem huge. That's because the amygdala (the emotional center of the brain) becomes more attuned to perceived threats. You start to expect to feel fear, and then fear being afraid before anything even happens. And the prefrontal cortex (the logical and decision-making center of the brain) becomes inhibited to regulating negative emotions. But you know what...eventually, I started to notice that I was becoming more and more desensitized to it all. Eventually, you get sick of being afraid, and you just let life happen. You'd be surprised what you can actually handle when/if it happens, even if it doesn't feel like it now. I know I sure as hell was. Bottom line is, every human being's main goal (biologically speaking) is to survive...by all means necessary, and no matter what happens. Remember that.