Empathy Only I’m sorry that I failed

[Stephanie4]

For the last over 2 and a half years of my life I’ve come to sf; today I looked back on all my original posts and yeah the scenes changed, I grow up 16-18 is a big age difference. My situation changed, I changed, for one I had alittle my optimism then than I do now optimism that in two years I’ll be better in two years I’ll be stronger and regretably I have to report back that it hasn’t. Except one thing has stayed the same the feeling that I’m always running for frozen still, the feel like a dark pit is sinking my heart and making me feel nothing but also everything. Every word anyone say every facial expression everthing. I’m really sorry I’m just writing my rants I knwo I’ve come a long way but I just I feel like I let myself down; and now I know that what I have will never go away all I can do is worry will i be writing the same thing 2 years later what the fuck am I doing with my life

 

[may71]

I'm sorry that you're feeling so bad

I don't think you've failed, you've just had a hard struggle

Hugs

 

[Atreides]

For the last over 2 and a half years of my life I’ve come to sf; today I looked back on all my original posts and yeah the scenes changed, I grow up 16-18 is a big age difference. My situation changed, I changed, for one I had alittle my optimism then than I do now optimism that in two years I’ll be better in two years I’ll be stronger and regretably I have to report back that it hasn’t. Except one thing has stayed the same the feeling that I’m always running for frozen still, the feel like a dark pit is sinking my heart and making me feel nothing but also everything. Every word anyone say every facial expression everthing. I’m really sorry I’m just writing my rants I knwo I’ve come a long way but I just I feel like I let myself down; and now I know that what I have will never go away all I can do is worry will i be writing the same thing 2 years later what the fuck am I doing with my life

I turn 33 later this week and my life is many times better than it was just a year ago. The reason I tell you that is because you have no idea what your future holds. There's always hope things can turn for the better.

 

[1964dodge]

things can get better. you are very young with many years to find joy and fulfillment. never give up keep trying. I hope you find what you want...mike...

 

[Sleeper71]

I’m sorry for what you’ve gone through and are still going through. No one can predict the future or know how we’ll be feeling in a few years, we can only live one day at a time. Please don’t give up on yourself and never lose hope. Wishing you the best of luck.

 

[Walker]

I felt like I didn't move very much for 2 years at a time for lots of spaces in life. You have the power to change that though, you know? You are the only one to do it. Check out this link from the front of the site, maybe:
https://www.suicideforum.com/2018/04/30/making-tomorrow-better-by-doing-something-today/

 

[SkyTree]

Just hang on a bit longer. Don't give up! There's still time!

 

[Sunspots]

Hey Stephanie

I joined SF 2 and a half years ago too, shortly after an attempt. I honestly thought I'd never feel better. And some days I wonder if I do. But you've got to hold on to that hope that things will get better, especially when you're you're young, there are so many opportunities for change.

What kind of support do you have in real life?

 

[Chenzo1331]

This post has really tugged at my heart strings. Maybe its because you are only 3 years older than my daughter, maybe its because i can relate to the hopeless feeling or maybe its some other reason, but i cant help but feel i need to say something to you to try and help.
To be honest, i may even be replying for myself, as feeling like ive helped others is really my only way of making myself feel better on the bad days.
So, my advice to you is to take all you feel, the experience youve had over the past two years dealing with it and your knowledge of what it is to feel in a hopeless situation and use it to help others. Read peoples problems on here, reply with honest advice, be kind and try to help people. It may not help you, it may just be wasted time... but you never know how something will make you feel untill youve done it, and if your anything like me, you may beable to claw alittle pride and abit of a boost from helping others.
I sincerly hope it helps and look forward to reading posts from you to others.

 

[Stephanie4]

Hey Stephanie

I joined SF 2 and a half years ago too, shortly after an attempt. I honestly thought I'd never feel better. And some days I wonder if I do. But you've got to hold on to that hope that things will get better, especially when you're you're young, there are so many opportunities for change.

What kind of support do you have in real life?

I appreciate all the comments but specifically to this one I’ve tried helping others but I get attached and have ended in a few situation with other people’s possible suicides and other harsh comments once I’ve got close to people so I just try to only come here when I need someone to talk to or to write my feelings but thanks for the advice anyway.