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I am tired of living

#1
So sad. So tired.
My lover is dying . Terminal cancer - maybe 6 months at most
He said that he needs to end the relationship for fear that he will spend all of eternity in hell for being with someone who is not his wife.
He says that he loves me but yet he ended our 6 year beautiful relationship.

I don't expect anyone to understand or feel compassion for me

I just want to die- I want a sure fire easy painless way to die
 
#2
Sorry to hear this.

It's really hard to lose someone you love, but the circumstances that you are in presently seem to make it especially difficult.

Talking to a therapist about this might help. In principle, it might be possible for him to admit to having had an affair, and for you to visit him in the hospital.

You may want to try taking medications, at least until you no longer feel suicidal.

The links in my signature might also be worth looking at.

I think there is a way that you can get through this, and I hope that you can
 

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