My mother informed me that a relative passed away. I don't feel sadness. maybe it's because she was in her 90's and she was suffering from dementia. But I don't feel sad. I do however feel scared. I have other relatives who are old most notably my great aunt who I often visit. I have never been good and dealing with relatives dying. I'm not going to the funeral and I don't care how selfish and bad of a person that makes me. it's not like I was ever a good nephew or son or person anyway.
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I don't know a subject title for this
- Thread starter sadhart
- Start date
Funerals are a tradition for saying goodbye but I never have been comfortable and sometimes skip the formal ceremony and say goodbye on my own.
You sound young, for at my age many have passed on. Young and old.
If you had no connection just appreciate life in itself and how one day it will all be over for each of us, young or old, tomorrow is never promised. You can't just make a relationship where there was none that you felt, just be compassionate for those that had.
You sound young, for at my age many have passed on. Young and old.
If you had no connection just appreciate life in itself and how one day it will all be over for each of us, young or old, tomorrow is never promised. You can't just make a relationship where there was none that you felt, just be compassionate for those that had.
No, that's not true. Sometimes we feel pressure to feel things that we don't, but it's not reasonable. If you weren't close to the relative that just died, it's not a surprise that it's not an emotional experience for you.
For a lot of good reasons, you may not want to go to the funeral.
If you want to stay connected with family members though (you may not), you might want to stop by the reception for a few minutes (if there is one), and offer condolences to the closest living relatives.
For a lot of good reasons, you may not want to go to the funeral.
If you want to stay connected with family members though (you may not), you might want to stop by the reception for a few minutes (if there is one), and offer condolences to the closest living relatives.
The last funeral I went to was my grandmother's seven years ago. That was back when I was drinking and even then I couldn't handle being there.
These last few years, these relative who had died had been suffering from dementia and had to placed in a nursing home. I found going there too depressing. But she was good to me. I remember five years ago when I was at one of my lowest points in my life, she called me over to her house because she needed some help with something. That something was a bird that somehow got in her house and got stuck in her heater. I had no experience with dealing with such a thing and honestly I was scared as hell to deal with it. But I took a step back and I was able to get the bird out of the house. At the time I was feeling so much shame and guilt and her wanting my help like that made me feel somewhat useful.
I appreciate you all for being understanding.
These last few years, these relative who had died had been suffering from dementia and had to placed in a nursing home. I found going there too depressing. But she was good to me. I remember five years ago when I was at one of my lowest points in my life, she called me over to her house because she needed some help with something. That something was a bird that somehow got in her house and got stuck in her heater. I had no experience with dealing with such a thing and honestly I was scared as hell to deal with it. But I took a step back and I was able to get the bird out of the house. At the time I was feeling so much shame and guilt and her wanting my help like that made me feel somewhat useful.
I appreciate you all for being understanding.
Some people just don't do funerals, maybe thats the type of person you are. You don't need to explain the "hows" or "whys" of that to US, you know? And it sure doesn't make you a bad person not to want to visit with relatives you may not be close to while you're deceased family member is in a box right next to you. It's not a real fun time.