I'm 55

[Iusedtobehappy]

I have been divorced since I was 46 and in a very long term, toxic relationship pretty much since my divorce. I met this man after the divorce was final. I never cheated on my ex.

The divorce was not something I saw coming and I was devastated. I have gone from being a successful professional to renting a room in a house with four other roommates. I have only a bed a chair and a television. I've just slipped down a slope of loneliness and depression ever since my divorce.

I am on sertraline and all it does is make me numb. I've never been this lonely in my entire life and I don't even feel like I knew how to talk to people any longer.

I'm currently living on unemployment which will run out in a few weeks. I'm going on a job interview tomorrow but I have not been motivated to look for much. It's as if I really want to be swallowed Colin done with it all. I am diabetic with no insurance. I am I able to get samples of insulin from the free clinic from time to time but not consistent. I walk around with an average blood sugar of about 500.

I feel old stupid and useless. I feel like I was thrown away at a younger age and nobody in their right mind would want to be with me now.

 

[1964dodge]

things don't have to be over for you. you can get another good job and get back on your feet. obviously you have to deal with the depression. and you are still young enough to find a partner that will love and respect you and stay with you . I know it won't be easy but please try to get better. we are listening to you and we do care...mike...

 

[LonelyHiker]

@Iusedtobehappy

I'm sorry you're feeling so crappy. I am 2x divorced, so I get it. It sucks, no two ways about it..

Are you still in this toxic relationship? I certainly can understand how loneliness can impel us to jump into new relationships before we're ready. I've done it (and sorely regretted it...but I did learn from it). I honestly think being alone is better than being in a bad relationship, but I understand the desire for companionship.

Have you given thought to joining a divorce recovery group? One helped me tremendously after divorce #2.

I hope your job interview goes well tomorrow. Not having insurance sucks, I know..

Being single/alone doesn't have to be miserable. There are so many cool things and opportunities to explore. Making friends is a LOT easier when you're single as well (it was for me, anyway)..

Wishing you the best..

 

[BraveFace]

Hi @Iusedtobehappy, how did your interview go?

 

[Kiwi2016]

Just wanted to send you some hugs as a fellow mid-lifer who at 55 had to start a new career...sending you positive thoughts that hoping the interview went ok...and please take to heart that you do matter and that you aren't alone as we're all here for you. So I encourage you to keep posting.

 

[Lane]

Hi @Iusedtobehappy. I'm sorry that life has been so difficult for you with the divorce, unemployment and diabetes. I went to the emergency room with my daughter recently and the doctor said something that struck me when I said something about my past. He said, "that was then, you can only move forward".

I needed to hear that because I was feeling bad that my exhusbands wife is driving an expensive car with a $80k a year job, and I just turned 50 and scraping mortgage $together. My oldest daughter doesnt talk to me, etc. Etc. I fight that this is the end of the road for me and sometimes wish for a terminal illness and say, "what's wrong with me?" I too feel old, stupid, and useless. But we aren't. It's not our time to go yet.

 

[Lane]

@Iusedtobehappy

I'm sorry you're feeling so crappy. I am 2x divorced, so I get it. It sucks, no two ways about it..

Are you still in this toxic relationship? I certainly can understand how loneliness can impel us to jump into new relationships before we're ready. I've done it (and sorely regretted it...but I did learn from it). I honestly think being alone is better than being in a bad relationship, but I understand the desire for companionship.

Have you given thought to joining a divorce recovery group? One helped me tremendously after divorce #2.

I hope your job interview goes well tomorrow. Not having insurance sucks, I know..

Being single/alone doesn't have to be miserable. There are so many cool things and opportunities to explore. Making friends is a LOT easier when you're single as well (it was for me, anyway)..

Wishing you the best..

@LonelyHiker being single does have its advantages *yes, without hijacking this thread, interesting topic for another thread, ha.

 

[Newfie]

I have been divorced since I was 46 and in a very long term, toxic relationship pretty much since my divorce. I met this man after the divorce was final. I never cheated on my ex.

The divorce was not something I saw coming and I was devastated. I have gone from being a successful professional to renting a room in a house with four other roommates. I have only a bed a chair and a television. I've just slipped down a slope of loneliness and depression ever since my divorce.

I am on sertraline and all it does is make me numb. I've never been this lonely in my entire life and I don't even feel like I knew how to talk to people any longer.

I'm currently living on unemployment which will run out in a few weeks. I'm going on a job interview tomorrow but I have not been motivated to look for much. It's as if I really want to be swallowed Colin done with it all. I am diabetic with no insurance. I am I able to get samples of insulin from the free clinic from time to time but not consistent. I walk around with an average blood sugar of about 500.

I feel old stupid and useless. I feel like I was thrown away at a younger age and nobody in their right mind would want to be with me now.

 

[Newfie]

You are not useless. I think what some people do not understand is that you are physically struggling with your health tremendously as well as with a toxic relationship, loneliness, getting older, etc. I am also divorced (at 40, after 12 years of marriage). I came from a very abusive childhood background and became the adult perfectionist, workaholic and looking after everybody sort of girl until I could just not do it any more. I ended up in the hospital because of a failed suicide attempt and thought my life was over, but low and behold it was one of the best things that could have happened to me. I just want you to know that you are not struggling alone and that you are being heard and we care. You need to take the first step to get help for "you". You are worth it!

 

[Maagy43]

I have been divorced since I was 46 and in a very long term, toxic relationship pretty much since my divorce. I met this man after the divorce was final. I never cheated on my ex.

The divorce was not something I saw coming and I was devastated. I have gone from being a successful professional to renting a room in a house with four other roommates. I have only a bed a chair and a television. I've just slipped down a slope of loneliness and depression ever since my divorce.

I am on sertraline and all it does is make me numb. I've never been this lonely in my entire life and I don't even feel like I knew how to talk to people any longer.

I'm currently living on unemployment which will run out in a few weeks. I'm going on a job interview tomorrow but I have not been motivated to look for much. It's as if I really want to be swallowed Colin done with it all. I am diabetic with no insurance. I am I able to get samples of insulin from the free clinic from time to time but not consistent. I walk around with an average blood sugar of about 500.

I feel old stupid and useless. I feel like I was thrown away at a younger age and nobody in their right mind would want to be with me now.

sending you some hugs and prayers. I’m the same age, divorced about the same amount of time, long toxic relationship after, feeling like my life is over, struggling to survive. I know how hard it is.

I hope your job interview went well. Do not give up.