Hi. I'm new here. I'm feeling quite lonely. I feel that noone understands me. I don't feel I can do anything meaningful with my life. My mental health is pretty bad. I writhe in pain sometimes from my intrusive thoughts. I want to be an entertainer but don't feel I'm capable. Making people laugh fills me with joy
I'm lonely
- Thread starter Hammond 23
- Start date
Welcome @Hammond 23 
I think many, many people are lonely. It has even been recognized in the USA as a public health problem. I can relate on the intrusive thoughts. There are methods to work with those, but they are really demanding, hard work to put into action. Still worth it, though, compared to the alternative, IMHO. I am not great at it yet, but even a little progress is better than none, or getting worse over time.
I've heard that some people feel it's very important to be understood, but not all. I'm with you, if that's any help. I don't really know where this originated from, but there's a lot of terminology entering the general zeitgeist about being seen and heard. This is considered a universal human need as far as I can tell. This makes sense in light of the findings that human beings are hard-wired for social connection. Our health is measurably affected if this need is unmet, so it would follow that loneliness, combined with feeling misunderstood, would add up to a lot of frustration there.
We are also similar in that getting people to laugh is a source of joy. For me the couple times when I have brought a room to overwhelming laughter (as in the original conversation has to pause for almost a minute for folks to calm down) are the absolute high points of my life. Better than any chemical high, and I have accomplished quite a lot of research and experimentation in that field. I've had some pretty awesome ecstatic moments thanks to drugs, but cocaine and oxycodone combined would not make me feel half as good as getting a few good laughs out of a larger group of people.
Do you feel incapable because of feeling misunderstood? Or maybe it's performance anxiety? I would say stage fright but comedy is, to me, a lifestyle as opposed to a vocation. I've also been a performing musician and I started out with paralyzing stage fright. As in, middle school band concerts would sometimes see me getting physically dragged from the rehearsal space. I got over it through exposure. Once I was on stage and doing what I do and getting applause for it, that turned into my motivation. I cannot say I've never bombed, but those are almost better at kicking out stage fright. YMMV.
Ultimately I got to a place where I stopped caring what other people thought about me, unless they had control over my freedom in a financial or physical sense. So, if you don't have a gun, nor sign my paycheck, I am really fine with whatever you think. This is insensitive to the question of whether those thoughts are hostile or untrue. Now if I go onstage, it's because I am there for the love of music, and I can't be everyone's cup of tea! Whoever doesn't care for what I do - that's their problem! My satisfaction is conditioned on whether I did my best in rehearsal. This frequently implies time, time, and more time. Talent may exist in very rare cases, such as a Mozart. This comes along about once in a millennium, it seems. For the rest of us - it's practice. And then practice again, and practice some more. I like a saying that I cant cite the origin of, but it is this: An amateur practices until they get it right. A pro practices until they never get it wrong. As long as I have a pro work ethic, I've done my job and the performance is just the payoff.
I think many, many people are lonely. It has even been recognized in the USA as a public health problem. I can relate on the intrusive thoughts. There are methods to work with those, but they are really demanding, hard work to put into action. Still worth it, though, compared to the alternative, IMHO. I am not great at it yet, but even a little progress is better than none, or getting worse over time. I've heard that some people feel it's very important to be understood, but not all. I'm with you, if that's any help. I don't really know where this originated from, but there's a lot of terminology entering the general zeitgeist about being seen and heard. This is considered a universal human need as far as I can tell. This makes sense in light of the findings that human beings are hard-wired for social connection. Our health is measurably affected if this need is unmet, so it would follow that loneliness, combined with feeling misunderstood, would add up to a lot of frustration there.
We are also similar in that getting people to laugh is a source of joy. For me the couple times when I have brought a room to overwhelming laughter (as in the original conversation has to pause for almost a minute for folks to calm down) are the absolute high points of my life. Better than any chemical high, and I have accomplished quite a lot of research and experimentation in that field. I've had some pretty awesome ecstatic moments thanks to drugs, but cocaine and oxycodone combined would not make me feel half as good as getting a few good laughs out of a larger group of people.
Do you feel incapable because of feeling misunderstood? Or maybe it's performance anxiety? I would say stage fright but comedy is, to me, a lifestyle as opposed to a vocation. I've also been a performing musician and I started out with paralyzing stage fright. As in, middle school band concerts would sometimes see me getting physically dragged from the rehearsal space. I got over it through exposure. Once I was on stage and doing what I do and getting applause for it, that turned into my motivation. I cannot say I've never bombed, but those are almost better at kicking out stage fright. YMMV.
Ultimately I got to a place where I stopped caring what other people thought about me, unless they had control over my freedom in a financial or physical sense. So, if you don't have a gun, nor sign my paycheck, I am really fine with whatever you think. This is insensitive to the question of whether those thoughts are hostile or untrue. Now if I go onstage, it's because I am there for the love of music, and I can't be everyone's cup of tea! Whoever doesn't care for what I do - that's their problem! My satisfaction is conditioned on whether I did my best in rehearsal. This frequently implies time, time, and more time. Talent may exist in very rare cases, such as a Mozart. This comes along about once in a millennium, it seems. For the rest of us - it's practice. And then practice again, and practice some more. I like a saying that I cant cite the origin of, but it is this: An amateur practices until they get it right. A pro practices until they never get it wrong. As long as I have a pro work ethic, I've done my job and the performance is just the payoff.
Glad that you have joined here and are posting and I hope you will continue. This is a good spot to hopefully not feel quite so lonely and alone. This is a forum where you are valued by others. It is a big plus that you enjoy making others laugh and feel better about things, fine attribute to have and share with others.
Hi Hammond 23, I read what you wrote and I thought of something funny for both of us - you wrote (and my input... smile)
I'm feeling quite lonely - me too I am in a real foreign country.
I feel that noone understands me - me too everybody speaks a foreign language I do not understand.
My reality - does it help you for your entertainment project? Hope so! Good luck!
I'm feeling quite lonely - me too I am in a real foreign country.
I feel that noone understands me - me too everybody speaks a foreign language I do not understand.
My reality - does it help you for your entertainment project? Hope so! Good luck!
Welcome to SF, a place where you can be yourself without judgements. Sorry to hear that youre struggling @Hammond 23. I hope you can find some peace here and IRL. Look forward to seeing you on the message boards.