jims cafe october 19/20 saturday and sunday

[Bbear82]

1. what is the hardest part and best part of being a child up 12 years
the hardest part was growing up in an abusive home, the best part was how close i was able to be to my brother

2. what is the best and worst part of being a teen up to high school graduation
the best part was school in general. the bad part was being known as a nerd because i loved school so much

3. best and worst of young adulthood and what it's like
best part is being free and on your own the worst is trying to figure everything out on your own

4. same as 3 but for middle age
not sure im middle age but the best part is having my kiddo and learning from her everyday is something new. the worst part is having to be responsible and pay bills.. lol jk

5. when we get older and start having age isssues what is good about our life and how can we cope.
i would guess all the lessons learned

6. bonus question. how do you cope with all the mistakes you made in life and any mental health issues as well as physical ones (try to be positive)
remember that we learn from our mistakes and learn to not make the same ones

 

[AFlower]

@1964dodge thanks for the tag
Well I have to say, those are really interesting questions!

1. what is the hardest part and best part of being a child up 12 years?

The best part: not being scared about my future, having my grandma around.
Hardest part: I had a complicated childhood and had to deal with a lot of abuse from a young age.

2. what is the best and worst part of being a teen up to high school graduation

The best part: school, it provided a getaway from being at home, and a routine.
Worst part: Having to deal with the aftermath of the abuse, losing my grandma

3. best and worst of young adulthood and what it's like

I’m only 18 so
But since a young age I had to buy clean and cook for my family. Those responsibilities are a lot to deal with sometimes. I guess the worst part will be managing money, responsibilities and a job


4. same as 3 but for middle age

I think for me, if I’ll get to that age, I will be in a different place from where I am now (hopefully) and will learn from everything that is going on, instead of breaking because of it.

5. when we get older and start having age isssues what is good about our life and how can we cope.

A lot of lessons learned, wisdom, seeing the fact that you’ve come so far and achieved so much. Realizing that despite everything that had been trying to break you, you are still here, you are strong.

6. bonus question. how do you cope with all the mistakes you made in life and any mental health issues as well as physical ones (try to be positive)

Learning from our mistakes, trying ro utilize and use the experience I have in order to prevent and help others from going down the same path.

have a wonderful weekend everyone *grouphug

 

[Angie]

Hi there @1964dodge thanks for the tag

My past is a bit tricky to deal with with now, so I'll have to pass on most of the questions.

I was happiest in my mid 20s to mid 30s. The sixth decade appears to be shaping up to suck. (was at er last night with high blood pressure).

Here is the song that is on repeat in my brain:

 

[cymbele]

1. what is the hardest part and best part of being a child up 12 years

Lonely, well cared for but there was little money but my parents provided a good life. But lonely and never connected with other kids.

2. what is the best and worst part of being a teen up to high school graduation.

The best part was finally having friends in high school and the worst was growing into womanhood w/o any guidance from parents.
3. best and worst of young adulthood and what it's like
Finally having money and freedom. Also I had my daughter when I was 30 and she has been the best part of my life since.

4. same as 3 but for middle age
The best part was getting my black belt in karate and the worst was the divorce. But I had friends and supportive family.

5. when we get older and start having age isssues what is good about our life and how can we cope.
I have gone back to accepting myself for who I am and then I ride most issues without getting depressed. I was able to separate my feelings for my ex during the wedding and accept that we were going in different directions.
6. bonus question. how do you cope with all the mistakes you made in life and any mental health issues as well as physical ones (try to be positive)
I don't worry it; everything has made me who I am. I know that I am loved by God and friends whatever happens I am okay.

 

[1964dodge]

Hi there @1964dodge thanks for the tag

My past is a bit tricky to deal with with now, so I'll have to pass on most of the questions.

I was happiest in my mid 20s to mid 30s. The sixth decade appears to be shaping up to suck. (was at er last night with high blood pressure).

Here is the song that is on repeat in my brain:

I hope your day gets better with the blood pressure...mike...

 

[BlueGreen]

Thanks for the tag, @1964dodge

1. what is the hardest part and best part of being a child up 12 years

The loneliness, separation from family, school and feeling stupid. Best is being agile, able to do anything, eat anything and still have so much energy!

2. what is the best and worst part of being a teen up to high school graduation.

Loneliness, another separation, convent school, isolation. Best - music of the 70's, having friends.

3. best and worst of young adulthood and what it's like

Loneliness and the overwhelming need to be with someone. Having to find work without a skill. Toxic work environments. Best - sex! Travelling and feeling independent, 80's music

4. same as 3 but for middle age

Worst - in-laws! Dealing with toxic women. Best - feeling healthy, understanding myself better, living in countries far away from in-laws and family.

5. when we get older and start having age isssues what is good about our life and how can we cope.

Realising it's not all downhill, it's ups and downs. Some years are better than others and things can get better, it's not all doom and gloom.

6. bonus question. how do you cope with all the mistakes you made in life and any mental health issues as well as physical ones (try to be positive)

I don't think I've made huge mistakes in my life. Nothing I regret that keeps me up at night anyway. Maybe being more assertive might have helped. Mentally, I try to stay positive, keep the demons down, rationalise them away. Physically, nothing too bad but it's been up and down. Aging sucks but make-up helps! Migraines are the bane of my life but they have become more bearable with age so that's a positive.

 

[Kiwi2016]

Thanks for opening and the tag @1964dodge....really great questions that are making me think and reflect...

1. what is the hardest part and best part of being a child up 12 years
Hardest part- realizing that I was my parents sole focus as an only child and that I was treated in some respects as an adult
who had to carry emotional/mental health issues of my parents as well as surpass their expectations

Best part-feeling carefree, living in the moment, going to auctions at family farmsteads where were selling contents of
house, crops in the fields (my father was an antique dealer) so despite being a city kid got to explore farms, barns and best
part the church ladies homemade pies, meeting Amish kids at the sales, meeting interesting and varied older people

2. what is the best and worst part of being a teen up to high school graduation.
Best part -- Given opportunities to ski in Switzerland for 2 summers and one of those to do the youth hostel/backpacking
thing for a couple of weeks in Switzerland and Austria ...being part of a group that had places in Martha's Vineyard and NH
so got to go multiple times in both winters and summers..going to a great school that provided me with a strong
educational foundation

Worst part- trying to live up to parental and school expectations

3. best and worst of young adulthood and what it's like
Best- going to a college that was 16 hours away (too far for my parents to drive to in a day)...In college being able to re-
invent yourself each year keeping previous friends but making new ones..year in Paris....getting accepted to only graduate
school applied to which had stipend and fellowship...having varied jobs from medical museum to historic houses to
russian collection to national historic landmark hotel to historic houses and 2 trips to Japan for installation/de-installation
of exhibit

Worst- Pressures to continue to achieve and maintain a viable career

4. same as 3 but for middle age
Best- Despite losing job/career having a union so with their help in matter of a day was able to retire with a pension, Re-
inventing myself, taking coursework, doing well at it and landing a job---just found out that they want to keep me
on so survived the probationary period

Worst- Losing job and career of 31 years...worrying about having no savings nor equity in a house for later years, worries
about 20 year age difference between my husband and myself (but his mom is still living and doing well at 105 so that's a
good thing)

5. when we get older and start having age issues what is good about our life and how can we cope.
That it is never to late to work to try to get in better health by exercising, quitting smoking, and re-inventing yourself. That I
have a loving husband and know that whatever life may throw at us we will cope because we have one another. That I
have been able to get to know and spend time with his mom who is just a phenomenal woman and who has adopted me
of sorts as her daughter. This makes up for the highly dysfunctional/emotionally abusiveness of my father which
does continue alas.

6. bonus question. how do you cope with all the mistakes you made in life and any mental health issues as well as physical ones (try to be positive)
I try to learn from my mistakes ... the biggest one the loss of my career...by objectively examining the circumstances, the role I played in the outcome and so in this new career to not make the same mistakes of taking too much on, setting and keeping boundaries of their expectations and mine so don't end up over-extending to the point where the only outcome will be failure. And also realizing that it was a toxic environment and that perhaps if I had been in a better mental health place I could have coped but accepting that I wasn't and try to leave it behind me and look to the future of this new career at 56 as a new beginning.

So sorry for the long answer one and all...these are things that have been thinking about as of late and so alas you are the unfortunate recipients of my thoughts...

Wishing all a fantastic Sunday...with good food, rest and relaxation, laughter and just some down time

tagging @Bergerac, @Shadowlands, @Angel368, @kdm @Innocent Forever @pooky @mpk @Havoc @a guy for feelings @na-taya @Blue Star @SillyOldBear @Citizen Insane @Bloop @bobbob @Auri @Acy @Ash600 @LostGirl22 @Lane

 

[Lane]

Hi there @1964dodge thanks for the tag

My past is a bit tricky to deal with with now, so I'll have to pass on most of the questions.

I was happiest in my mid 20s to mid 30s. The sixth decade appears to be shaping up to suck. (was at er last night with high blood pressure).

Here is the song that is on repeat in my brain:

Good morning @Angie. I understand how it can be hard to go back and talk about childhood or even muster up the strenght ti "go there". I really like these questions though. And reading. Hugs.

 

[BlueGreen]

These are so fascinating @Kiwi2016 , what interesting experiences you've had!

 

[Lane]

Hope you're all having a good weekend. I'm doing ok and trying to stay positive. Forced myself to get up, dressed n sit among people with a pumpkin coffee to see what all the hypes about *bleh. Thank you for tagging me @Kiwi2016.

 

[Kiwi2016]

These are so fascinating @Kiwi2016 , what interesting experiences you've had!

Thanks answering these has made me realize how incredibly fortunate that I have been and that I should welcome each day with gratitude rather than my glass is half empty viewpoint which I tend to do...

 

[KA9]

I'm a bit late but I'll share anyway.
1. Good = nothing. I mean yea I could probably find some tiny bits but those were all overshadowed and paid for by ugly.

Hard = Where do I start? Not having the tiniest smidget of freedom? Or any respect as a human being? Constantly being fed shit propaganda how good I have it? Nobody outside not only not taking my complaints seriously but actually faulting me, the kid? ("You have to understand them" is one sentence I'm willing to kill over.) Being abandoned by one parent and not having any clue what the fuck is actually going on due to the constant lies and bullshit? The unbelievable, soul-crushing boredom? Or some crap that went quite a bit into uncomfortable territory? Other stuff that I still have PTSD from? Yea I dunno...

2. Good = being able to realize that I'm not someone's fucking property and catching up to most of the lost time, and in some cases even coming ahead of the curve. And hey I finally even learned to have some fun, sorta.

Hard = Jesus, take most from #1 and multiple it by the need to fight back to keep my sanity, AND having to deal with my other issues, AAAAAND also having to deal with all the crap every teenager has to go through while trying to balance everything. How I survived that I don't know.

3. Good = Finally able to cut myself free and build up my own life from scratch.

Hard = Sensing I'm running out of energy since I'd had to spend so much of it in my earlier life. Also needing to deal with the usual issues like money, work, relationship and living situation.

Oh and some demons catching up to me from my earlier life, of course.

4. (Not sure if I'm middle aged enough but let's say I am)
Good = Running out of good.

Hard = Everything collapsing. I couldn't maintain the energy needs since I'd had to spend so much of it before.

5. Hell if I know.

6. I don't dwell on my mistakes much, besides it's hard to say which were really mistakes and which were actually good in the long run... But when I think about them it can drive me pretty crazy. As for dealing with health issues, both physical and mental... Well you said be positive but I don't really have any coping mechanisms honestly.

 

[Sunday16]

Hi Mike, I like your questions and I'll do my best to answer them honestly and positively. Thank you for inviting @JMG
1. what is the hardest part and best part of being a child up 12 years
hardest: being shamed by the adults in my life because I was just a little kid who didn't know any better and made mistakes
best: playing with my best friend, I was never ashamed to be myself around her. I knew it then and I realize it even more now, just how lucky I was to have her in my life
2. what is the best and worst part of being a teen up to high school graduation.
best: trying and learning new things like art classes, sports, French, journalism, acting classes, etc. I really enjoyed the learning part of high school
worst: finding out that the people you thought were you were friends, were capable of spreading lies to hurt you for no reason
3. best and worst of young adulthood and what it's like
best: having the freedom to take chances, move to new places, try new careers, with nothing tying me down
worst: falling in love and having my heart broken
4. same as 3 but for middle age
Actually my answers are the same as 3
5. when we get older and start having age isssues what is good about our life and how can we cope.
Not sweating the small the stuff. I used to take things so personally, but with age I realize other people's attitudes or issues have nothing to do with me. I see the same thing in the young people I work with and hope they realize it sooner than I did so they don't waste too much of their lives being angry over stuff that really doesn't matter
6. bonus question. how do you cope with all the mistakes you made in life and any mental health issues as well as physical ones (try to be positive)
I forgive myself. I recently discovered self compassion and I'm learning how to give myself the loving kindness and gentle support that I would give a dear friend when I make a mistake or fall short. I'm only human, I'm doing the best I can, and I deserve kindness, forgiveness, and a chance to try again. We all do.

 

[1964dodge]

Hi Mike, I like your questions and I'll do my best to answer them honestly and positively. Thank you for inviting @JMG
1. what is the hardest part and best part of being a child up 12 years
hardest: being shamed by the adults in my life because I was just a little kid who didn't know any better and made mistakes
best: playing with my best friend, I was never ashamed to be myself around her. I knew it then and I realize it even more now, just how lucky I was to have her in my life
2. what is the best and worst part of being a teen up to high school graduation.
best: trying and learning new things like art classes, sports, French, journalism, acting classes, etc. I really enjoyed the learning part of high school
worst: finding out that the people you thought were you were friends, were capable of spreading lies to hurt you for no reason
3. best and worst of young adulthood and what it's like
best: having the freedom to take chances, move to new places, try new careers, with nothing tying me down
worst: falling in love and having my heart broken
4. same as 3 but for middle age
Actually my answers are the same as 3
5. when we get older and start having age isssues what is good about our life and how can we cope.
Not sweating the small the stuff. I used to take things so personally, but with age I realize other people's attitudes or issues have nothing to do with me. I see the same thing in the young people I work with and hope they realize it sooner than I did so they don't waste too much of their lives being angry over stuff that really doesn't matter
6. bonus question. how do you cope with all the mistakes you made in life and any mental health issues as well as physical ones (try to be positive)
I forgive myself. I recently discovered self compassion and I'm learning how to give myself the loving kindness and gentle support that I would give a dear friend when I make a mistake or fall short. I'm only human, I'm doing the best I can, and I deserve kindness, forgiveness, and a chance to try again. We all do.

great answers

 

[MarvelFan]

ok a strange theme today obviously you can be in only one age goup so your opinion on others. try to keep it a positive subject

1. what is the hardest part and best part of being a child up 12 years

Below 12 years sucks but is also good because I would play games with the younger kids like tag or duck duck goose.

2. what is the best and worst part of being a teen up to high school graduation.

Well this might not be everyone else's experience but the best thing was the first kisses and the worst thing growing up in the pit of hell of la was getting beaten and mugged by every street gang.

3. best and worst of young adulthood and what it's like

I can't say much to that other than what I said above because if I add more it woould be to hurtful to me.

4. same as 3 but for middle age

I am now my parents lol but the sad thing is I have no kids.

5. when we get older and start having age isssues what is good about our life and how can we cope.

That the old people did what liked if so inclined and enjoyed their life and in their pain they got pain relievers and surgery to help with the pain if they were lucky.

6. bonus question. how do you cope with all the mistakes you made in life and any mental health issues as well as physical ones (try to be positive)

My mistakes in life will always be there I cant get around them even if others forgive me I can never forgive myself for anything. I dont care much about physical issues since my mental issues surpass all of that.


answer these questions from your past, present, or what you think about the future....mike