Just the feels

[Saralee5]

I feel lost empty abandoned numb depressed unclaimed unloved uncared for, not needed a burden. Even though my biological parents were terrible, neglectful, stuck non thriving people...They were mine. I belonged to them even if they didn't want me.

My biological mother passed away when I was 13..my bio mom use to apologize to us because she didn't terminate and how basically we weren't what she wanted now my alleged biological father in March .. he never was in my life, just would rarely come and go to just see my mom never interacting with us...

he also told us that he never wanted us, that he told our mom to terminate but she didn't listen, how our existence basically ruined everything...i was around two when he said it right to our faces...now they're both gone.

Their lives are completed. it just leaves me with an unsettling empty feeling. Complex grief. I feel hurt, I feel angry, I feel relieved, I feel depressed..i feel...until I don't anymore..which is never..



They don't exist anymore. There are no answers, no closure, nothing they can provide me with ..the things that only they can give me or should..parts of me are permanently gone..

.then my foster mom and her family are still terrible towards me and with the health problems and everything im going through it's too much

 

[nicktheundoer]

Hey...I hear you....I'm so sorry for everything...You can still heal and be happy and fulfilled..I've got faith in you...Hugsss🫂🫂🫂

 

[may71]

I'm sorry you've gone through so much Saralee. I wish everyone could at least have a childhood where they feel safe and loved. I'm sorry it wasn't like that for you.

he also told us that he never wanted us, that he told our mom to terminate but she didn't listen, how our existence basically ruined everything...i was around two when he said it right to our faces...now they're both gone.

It's really disgraceful for a parent to do that to a child. I get that there are some people who become parents unintentionally, but parents are 100% responsible for the birth of their children. If they weren't ready to run the risk of unwanted pregnancy and to take on the responsibility of being good parents if they had to, they should have stayed celibate.

then my foster mom and her family are still terrible towards me and with the health problems and everything im going through it's too much

I'm sorry they were and are terrible. A lot of people here have been through the foster care system. Mostly what people say about it ranges between bad and horrifying. I'm glad they're at least not worse than they are, but you deserved something better than this and I'm sorry you didn't get it.

Sending hugs if you would like hugs