more metaphorical

[bubblebear]

my dad is still alive, but i think in a metaphorical way, like he died. brain not functioning as well as it used to so bear with me. think its more like he died inside for me. because he willn ever be the father i want him to be. and everydya when i see him i am reminded of how he was and how he could have been. and they just don't match up. its always on my mind even if im not thinking of it consciously. i used ot think i could get over it quickly and just accept that i cant change him and let go. ive been really stressed about that. i think i cant force myself so now im going to try push myself a bit less. and think of myself instead.

 

[MisterBGone]

Hey, if I'm reading you right your Dad suffered a t.b.i.? If this is so, I think the best thing you can do (for him) is to attempt to show you are still there and devoted to him. Because very often with brain injuries come changes in personality. This can lead to an alienation or estrangement of sorts, from family and friends who knew them beforehand.

I know it isn't easy, but just simply speaking from his point of view, even if it might not seem like it, or be easy to tell... it does/will make a difference.

As for you, perhaps some counseling or other help may be of service? I don't know; & I'm really not sure what I'd do in your shoes. Try to remember to take care of yourself as well. If you're not ready to support or be there for him yet--then just give it some time and space and hopefully that will help. Good luck!