I will be describing my experience in detail, it's not graphic but it may be upsetting. I warned you.
It was expected. She had adrenal disease for like 2 years and the treatments stopped working almost a year ago. About 1 months ago she started showing signs of cancer, and I knew that our time drew short. I invited my parents over and we all hung out with her while she was still presentable.
She just turned 7 years old, which is actually quite old for a Marshalls ferret. She outlived her previous cage mate by 4 years. She lived through my parents house, which I am still extremely embarrassed by and wish I could've done better for her back then. But she's lived with me for the better part of a year and had been doing so much better; always in high spirits despite her declining health, not even 2 weeks ago I caught her stealing a bag of beads and dragging it down the hallway. That was her thing, haha. She stole a potato once and we found it all shrivelled and dried up some amount of time later.
I will admit that because of her upbeat mood and desire to eat her share, I thought I had at least a little bit longer. I knew it was coming but I guess I thought there would be more warning signs and that I would have a chance to take her to get put down. Instead, yesterday she appeared to be struggling to poop and I cleaned her up and put her back in bed. I was considering it yesterday.
I found her today, probably an hour or so after it happened. I hadn't had the chance to check on her but when I went in to see if my other ferret had put himself up, I saw her staring at me from the closet. Only she wasn't moving. I knew immediately.
I went over and felt her and she was stiff and cold. It has been cold in the house for a while, but ferrets are actually built to handle very low temperatures and we made sure she had plenty of coverings. Except that, she had crawled out from her bed and passed on the floor. It must have been a seizure. I would have been there if I'd known. She must've been so cold. I can only hope it was quick.
I called my boyfriend in as I pulled her out of the closet and put my hands over her. In my head, I just kept thinking, what do I do? I have to warm her up. If she gets warm she'll wake up.
I called my mom and told her the news. Then we went outside and buried her in her favorite sweater (one of mine, which she preferred sleeping in due to its puffy sleeves). The whole time I held her close and petted her and tried to keep her warm. I kept thinking I felt her twitch or saw her feet curl. Of course, this was not the case.
I just kept thinking I could wake her up if she was warm enough. That's what I did a few days ago when she appeared cold, I held her and she fell asleep on my chest. In hindsight, I knew this was my sign.
I don't know how to handle it yet.
My grandfather's 10 anniversary of his passing is in a week and his birthday was 2 days ago so I've been doing a lot of grieving already.
I am seriously dreading the big cry I know will be coming from this, bc last time it put me in an existential crisis that lasted 7 months, ruined several friendships and sent me to the hospital. I don't know what to do so all I can do is take care of myself.
I guess, technically, being unemployed is kind of a blessing right now, because I always take death very hard and I don't need to be explaining to my boss why I need the day off for a pet dying.
It was expected. She had adrenal disease for like 2 years and the treatments stopped working almost a year ago. About 1 months ago she started showing signs of cancer, and I knew that our time drew short. I invited my parents over and we all hung out with her while she was still presentable.
She just turned 7 years old, which is actually quite old for a Marshalls ferret. She outlived her previous cage mate by 4 years. She lived through my parents house, which I am still extremely embarrassed by and wish I could've done better for her back then. But she's lived with me for the better part of a year and had been doing so much better; always in high spirits despite her declining health, not even 2 weeks ago I caught her stealing a bag of beads and dragging it down the hallway. That was her thing, haha. She stole a potato once and we found it all shrivelled and dried up some amount of time later.
I will admit that because of her upbeat mood and desire to eat her share, I thought I had at least a little bit longer. I knew it was coming but I guess I thought there would be more warning signs and that I would have a chance to take her to get put down. Instead, yesterday she appeared to be struggling to poop and I cleaned her up and put her back in bed. I was considering it yesterday.
I found her today, probably an hour or so after it happened. I hadn't had the chance to check on her but when I went in to see if my other ferret had put himself up, I saw her staring at me from the closet. Only she wasn't moving. I knew immediately.
I went over and felt her and she was stiff and cold. It has been cold in the house for a while, but ferrets are actually built to handle very low temperatures and we made sure she had plenty of coverings. Except that, she had crawled out from her bed and passed on the floor. It must have been a seizure. I would have been there if I'd known. She must've been so cold. I can only hope it was quick.
I called my boyfriend in as I pulled her out of the closet and put my hands over her. In my head, I just kept thinking, what do I do? I have to warm her up. If she gets warm she'll wake up.
I called my mom and told her the news. Then we went outside and buried her in her favorite sweater (one of mine, which she preferred sleeping in due to its puffy sleeves). The whole time I held her close and petted her and tried to keep her warm. I kept thinking I felt her twitch or saw her feet curl. Of course, this was not the case.
I just kept thinking I could wake her up if she was warm enough. That's what I did a few days ago when she appeared cold, I held her and she fell asleep on my chest. In hindsight, I knew this was my sign.
I don't know how to handle it yet.
My grandfather's 10 anniversary of his passing is in a week and his birthday was 2 days ago so I've been doing a lot of grieving already.
I am seriously dreading the big cry I know will be coming from this, bc last time it put me in an existential crisis that lasted 7 months, ruined several friendships and sent me to the hospital. I don't know what to do so all I can do is take care of myself.
I guess, technically, being unemployed is kind of a blessing right now, because I always take death very hard and I don't need to be explaining to my boss why I need the day off for a pet dying.
I'm sorry to hear this
