My Granddad...

[Katichu]

Well... It was the night of Tuesday 7th- Wednesday 8th January 2014. I was asleep... And when I woke up my step-dad came in telling us that we could stay home if we wanted to. I already knew why but I had to clear it up so I asked my sister why and she said "Eric died last night" He's never been called granddad to his face because he comes from Keith's side of the family and Keith is my step-dad. Though when I was alone in the room I just cried.

He had terminal cancer in his lungs and something wrong with his kidneys. I saw him before he was told and he was fine, the same old, grumpy Eric that's always been there... Ever since I was little... Then within the month... He was gone...

The last memory I have of him is when he couldn't even speak... He couldn't move properly... His mind wasn't on Earth and he was just in so much pain and that's the last thing I'll ever remember... Seeing him looking almost dead... It just feels lonely without him. It's always been Christine and Eric's... Now it's just Christine's...

I'm not going to the funeral... I went to my Great Grandma's two years ago... First funeral I'd been to... I hardly even knew her and I completely broke down... I don't wanna risk it at Eric's funeral... I just feel like I'm being really horrible not going... All I want is cuddles but I have no one to give them to me...

I've experienced so much loss in my life but this... It's just getting too much now...

 

[Acy]

Katichu, I'm so sorry for your loss. :hug:

Eric sounds like he was a good man. Seems that he was very special to you!

As time passes, we tend to remember the good things more than the bad...I know it doesn't feel that way to you right now.

You are not horrible if you choose not to attend his funeral. Funerals are hard. It can give us personal closure and a way to honor the person if we do some ritual of our own, though. It can help us to helps us focus on the good times...perhaps light a candle, play some music, and think of some of the things you and Eric used to do or talk about. Feel free to talk about him here, too.

The love you and Eric shared continues on in your memories of him. Hugs to you.

 

[scaryforest]

what's your way of saying goodbye and letting go?
empathies