My husband

[Falina]

My husband took his own life on June 1, 2016. I still can't believe It. I found him in the morning. <mod edit - method I held his face in my hands & screamed his name. I want him back. I see his face, eyes open, I can't believe he did it. I'm trying to make it thru every day, some days it feels like I might lose my mind, something will click & that will be it, I will no longer be able to function. Even as I write this it doesn't seem real. He was so alive, his big laugh, his loud singing. I need him back. It's not fair, I need his strong arms, his kisses, his hand holding mine while lying in our bed. It doesn't make sense that I will never touch him again. I put his deodorant on sometimes just to smell him. I'm so weak, I want him back!!!!!! Please!!!!!! I need you!!!!!!

 

[Denise69]

I'm so sorry for your loss of your beloved husband I don't know wat else to say apart from I'm here anytime u wanna talk shout scream your not alone x

 

[may71]

I'm sorry to hear that you lost your husband. I think it's especially hard to lose someone to suicide, and also there's the fact that you don't know why he did it.

It sounds like both of you gave each other a lot of love while he was alive...that's something. A lot of people never find someone to love who loves them back. As painful as losing him was, you are probably still glad that you had him in your life.

Maybe you've talked about him in other posts that I haven't read. Sounds like he had some pain inside that he felt like he couldn't share? There are people who are like that, they seem perfectly find on the outside, they put on an act, but inside they are suffering.

 

[Shadowlands]

Sorry to hear for your loss. (hugs)

 

[bobbob]

My husband took his own life on June 1, 2016. I still can't believe It. I found him in the morning. <mod edit - method I held his face in my hands & screamed his name. I want him back. I see his face, eyes open, I can't believe he did it. I'm trying to make it thru every day, some days it feels like I might lose my mind, something will click & that will be it, I will no longer be able to function. Even as I write this it doesn't seem real. He was so alive, his big laugh, his loud singing. I need him back. It's not fair, I need his strong arms, his kisses, his hand holding mine while lying in our bed. It doesn't make sense that I will never touch him again. I put his deodorant on sometimes just to smell him. I'm so weak, I want him back!!!!!! Please!!!!!! I need you!!!!!!

I dont think u are weak. You are dealing with a terrinle situation. Please be kind to yourself, seek as much help as you can and u need, and try and think about how things will get a bit easier over time.
Kind regards
Bob

 

[Falina]

I dont think u are weak. You are dealing with a terrinle situation. Please be kind to yourself, seek as much help as you can and u need, and try and think about how things will get a bit easier over time.
Kind regards
Bob

Thank you so much!

 

[dugga]

I'm sorry for your loss - he was lucky to be have been loved so much

 

[may71]

There are men here that sound similar to your husband, such as on this thread https://www.suicideforum.com/community/threads/im-tired.127115/#post-1480263

Maybe talking to people similar to your husband might help

 

[choccydrop]

princess, I know how you feel, the love of my life died. It was an accident but it was preventable, ...............
You can move on, In the hospital, \I screamed at a nurse , let me go, let me die, I want to be with him.
The doctors took me and here I am , still alive . These days I muddle by, I have good family, all two of them, but hey, two is better than nothing !
I also hooked up with an old mate, I now live with him and am really happy sometimes. Just hang in there I know the hurt is unbearable but you have no choice. Try to find a friend to stay with you for a while...............

 

[Walker]

Hi there, sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. Suicides aren't the same as other deaths, they're processed differently. It's so hard to understand unless you've been through that with someone and it's a real crappy club to be a part of. I'm sure some people here do understand that. I don't know if you're still around but come back and chat us up if you are. Let us know how you're doing, how you're coping, and if you're getting along. I'm sure the holidays are going to be a bad time for you this year. I hope you're hanging in there and have family and supportive people there with you. Best wishes.