My mom abandoned her family last night. For some reason the first thing that flooded my thoughts was terminating the pregnancy I had back when I was seventeen.
My boyfriend of two years and I slipped up and I ended up getting pregnant. My mom was furious that I brought teen pregnancy onto myself and my family. Immediately, my mom motioned to go through with termination. My dad reluctantly went along with what she insisted.
Flash forward six years later to the present and here I am, having just been walked out by my own mother the night before. For some reason it's all hitting me hard, how my mom has given up on me and my sister just like I gave up on my baby. I can't seem to stop sobbing, how much of a hypocrite I am. My mom always looked at me differently after the termination, and even going along with what she wanted wasn't enough to redeem myself. I know it's a classic feature of parents walking out on their children, but I really do feel my mistake back in high school set in motion this inevitable outcome. My mom seemed so jaded about how she saw me after I went through with it and I think she even resented my dad for not holding it against me, as if on his part I suffered no consequence for how I screwed up. Sometimes I consider if maybe I was the wedge that gradually drove my parents apart started off by that event. I feel like my recklessness was the beginning of the end and has resulted to breaking up my parents and our family.
My thoughts and emotions are all over the place. After six years, the termination of my unborn baby is hitting me. I guess I deserve my mom ditching me and this emotional penance. My dad and sister do not, yet they got caught in the crossfire. What have I done? My sister and dad have a shook look on their sobbed through faces and deep down I know it's my fault my selfishness and not having considered what my mistake would cost them caused this.
My boyfriend of two years and I slipped up and I ended up getting pregnant. My mom was furious that I brought teen pregnancy onto myself and my family. Immediately, my mom motioned to go through with termination. My dad reluctantly went along with what she insisted.
Flash forward six years later to the present and here I am, having just been walked out by my own mother the night before. For some reason it's all hitting me hard, how my mom has given up on me and my sister just like I gave up on my baby. I can't seem to stop sobbing, how much of a hypocrite I am. My mom always looked at me differently after the termination, and even going along with what she wanted wasn't enough to redeem myself. I know it's a classic feature of parents walking out on their children, but I really do feel my mistake back in high school set in motion this inevitable outcome. My mom seemed so jaded about how she saw me after I went through with it and I think she even resented my dad for not holding it against me, as if on his part I suffered no consequence for how I screwed up. Sometimes I consider if maybe I was the wedge that gradually drove my parents apart started off by that event. I feel like my recklessness was the beginning of the end and has resulted to breaking up my parents and our family.
My thoughts and emotions are all over the place. After six years, the termination of my unborn baby is hitting me. I guess I deserve my mom ditching me and this emotional penance. My dad and sister do not, yet they got caught in the crossfire. What have I done? My sister and dad have a shook look on their sobbed through faces and deep down I know it's my fault my selfishness and not having considered what my mistake would cost them caused this.
