I’ve had depression for years. On record, it is mild depression, but I kind of attempted suicide once, and I struggled self harm (on and off) for about nine years.
I’m on and off with my therapist, and I keep changing therapists too. There are times when I don’t see any therapist because I thought I gave up on therapy (since they never truly help me hah), then I broke down so bad and end up relapsing again.
I have chronic stress & bad abandonment issues too. If they’re triggered, I would spiral and either self harm or take any medicine (ANY medicine) to help me sleep and escape those thoughts.
Problem is.. I feel empty now. I’ve always been, but I can do my job well & socialize with people so that doesn’t really bother me unless I spiral again. Last time I self harm was two days ago, but that was because my emotions overwhelm me so much due to PMS. If I just tell these to my therapist, she would just go back to my coping method which.. doesn’t work for me haha. Should I bring up that I want referral to psychiatrist again? Or is medication really unnecessary for me since on record, I only have mild depression?
Fyi: I was almost put on antidepressant before. But I had argument with my mom about it, so I end up not taking it and I was fine after that, though I still self harm few months after, I only didn’t tell my therapist that time because… I didn’t want her to report to my parents. I’m a working adult now so it should be fine for me if I were to see psychiatrist.
I’m on and off with my therapist, and I keep changing therapists too. There are times when I don’t see any therapist because I thought I gave up on therapy (since they never truly help me hah), then I broke down so bad and end up relapsing again.
I have chronic stress & bad abandonment issues too. If they’re triggered, I would spiral and either self harm or take any medicine (ANY medicine) to help me sleep and escape those thoughts.
Problem is.. I feel empty now. I’ve always been, but I can do my job well & socialize with people so that doesn’t really bother me unless I spiral again. Last time I self harm was two days ago, but that was because my emotions overwhelm me so much due to PMS. If I just tell these to my therapist, she would just go back to my coping method which.. doesn’t work for me haha. Should I bring up that I want referral to psychiatrist again? Or is medication really unnecessary for me since on record, I only have mild depression?
Fyi: I was almost put on antidepressant before. But I had argument with my mom about it, so I end up not taking it and I was fine after that, though I still self harm few months after, I only didn’t tell my therapist that time because… I didn’t want her to report to my parents. I’m a working adult now so it should be fine for me if I were to see psychiatrist.
