T
I don't believe in this ending your own life crap. I don't believe in murder. When I get caught up in other people's negative emotions I want to cry/scream untill I puke, because I'm not the only one. I get very angry because I'm not the only one suffering. I care too deeply for all life..... except my own. As much as my life has been terrorized into a living nightmare that there is only one certain escape from, some one out in the world has it even worse. It's not fair that so many have to suffer in this world. I stopped believing in god long, long ago because of this. Sorry to be blasphemous but If he came to earth to prove his existence to me alone...... I'd hate it. I don't know why so many of you have it that badly in life. Why does it have to be this way? There can't be a god 'cause if there was I'd be the only one living the life of pain. Life is a wonderful precious experience that you will only have one time for only so long..... it should be ultimately enjoyable for everyone, and if only I could make it so. I really do want to be the only one like this(suicidal). I'm insane you say? I truly believe that this life is my hell & I absolutely hate to see anyone go through it with me. I want to walk alone. I want you all to live. I want you to want to live. I want to be the only one. So that you can live in peace/prosperity/happiness. I want to be the only one to want to die so that all of you don't have those feelings. The saying "misery loves company" is completely wrong. I want to be alone. My first memory in life is so horrible/terrifying and it all went downhill from there. I can't stand to see it anything like that for anyone else. It makes me so sad/angry that I'm not the only one driven to suicidal thought. I'm pissed because I'm not the only one suffering. I'm at a loss for any other explaination for this post.