Passively seeking death

[Malcontent]

Is there a difference between jumping in front of a bus and just not stepping out of the way? I want to die, I just can't kill myself. I'm too much of a coward. I wish I could join the army or something and get shot. So many people die everyday, innocent people. But I want death. I'm cronically suicidal, I doubt there's any help for me. So to limit the pain that I cause I should die. I can't carry on living like this, maybe it's time to accept that my brain is too broken. I just wish my life would end. I pray for death but no one's listening. I'm 22 tomorrow, all of them wasted years. I've never done one good thing in my life. I should give up now and quit being a whiney c*nt.

 

[Jess]

Not true! You have done at least (AT LEAST) one good thing in your life. You've been my friend. That's something good in my opinion :sad:

I know you feel like you're brain is broken.. depression makes you think stuff like that.. but that doesn't mean it can't be fixed! or helped.. lean on us mally.. we really care about you and dont' want to see anything bad happen to you...

and I know I'm just talking complete shit because I can't help anyone.. but I just want you to know I'm thinking of you and really care about you and would miss you dearly if anything happened to you.

I love you mally!

:hug: :hug: :cheekkiss: miss new booty?

 

[Terry]

Mal :sad: sorry I'm about as much use as a dog turd at the moment:sad:
Please try not to dwell on things or beat yourself up too much.
The thing that gets me thru when its this bad is, when you've hit rock bottom the only way is up. (Least I hope it is). :hug:

 

[gentlelady]

Mal hun, I know you are at absolute bottom right now and can't see the forest through the trees. I don't see you as causing pain nor wasting all those years. You have done good. I can't say about your life apart from SF and the net, but I know here there have been may things. You have a unique view of some things and cause, at least me, to think beyond the realm of this shell I inhabit. You are not afraid to tackle issues that others are afraid to venture into and you handle these issues well. At times you have been a spoklesperson for those of us afraid to voice our opinions outside of telling you. And why do we come to you? Because we know you will help to find a solution to whatever it is that has us down. So yes, my dear friend, you have done and are still doing good things. You just can't come far enough outside of yourself to see them. I am always around for you to talk with if you need another set of listening ears. You have been my listening ears, let me be yours. :hug:

 

[TheBLA]

Useless? Oh HELL FREAKING NO, thats ME!!!!! I haven't done a single damn thing here for two years, I don't know anyone here, just make useless shit posts and YOU have helped a lot of people, been a very loving parental figure at times, etc. I'm sorry your depression is making you think otherwise.