Question while I can take the answer.

[Trina]

Has anyone felt themselves falling deeper into sadness by talking themselves into it? I have been finding that I am convincing myself how horrible I am because I don't have it that bad. My depression comes from a hole in my heart from when I went back to work. The hole is where my kids used to be in the sense that they were my whole life...now work has to take part too. I keep thinking how I shouldn't feel this way because I got to stay at home for 7 years with my kids and not many others to. I shouldn't be upset that I had to go to work because of the ways it is helping my family...and that is part of my job as a mom. I feel myself talking myself so close to a suicial state all because I shouldn't feel this way.

I guess I am just looking for another way to not feel so alone.

 

[Rebreb]

There's no way you should or shouldn't feel. In the same way that you can think yourself into a hole, you can think yourself out of it.

Have you heard of cognitive behavioural therapy or mindfulness? You might want to check them out.

It seems you're practicing reverse gratitude: I SHOULD appreciate what I have and because I don't I feel bad...

Can you turn that around?

Sounds like a downward spiral. If you retrain your thoughts you may be able to spiral them back up. Therapy can help with this and medication too.