Okay so this is going to be long. I've been on this site on and off since I was 13 or 14 I don't even remember at this point really. I'd been severely depressed, had constant anxiety attacks, self harm issues all the standard symptoms. My career meant the world to me, it was my only ticket to a better life but with how bad I was doing mentally it was a miracle I even finished highschool. But I did. I'm in uni now pursuing physics, something I'd been dreaming about since childhood. I still can't seem to pull myself together though. Therapy isn't an option until atleast a few months, my family doesn't allow it and I have to wait for my boyfriend to move to my city so he can drive me there from uni. I was recently put on medication without my knowledge or consent, and although they've helped my mood swings I don't really know how I feel about it. Id been complaining about a migraine for a month and the doctor prescribed me some supplements, unbeknownst to be one of them was an ssri. He had no knowledge of my previous mental health issues, and I only found out id been on antidepressants when I went to get refills after a month. I'm struggling to stay stable and motivated, and although the antidepressants have softened the highs and lows of the mood swings, I still feel like I'm barely holding myself together. Last week my professor asked me to start research on quantum information theory under him and it's literally a dream come true but with how sporadic my mental health has been I'm afraid I'll only mess it up and ruin any chance of future research atleast in my current uni. What do I do?
So This Happened
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Sorry that you're going through this.
Informed consent is a bedrock principle of medical ethics. That's a major violation if you were told you were just taking a supplement. In addition, there's probably some specific do's-and-don'ts and health risks that you should know about. Maybe there was a print out that went with the medication?
I'm glad the ssri has helped, but that was still wrong for your doctor to do that.
There are some forums about graduate school that might give you some good answers, and possibly something physics-specific. thegradcafe.com is one. This quora post that I found sounds like it might have some useful info, but I think at least some of the links are out of date:
https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-best-forums-about-graduate-school?share=1
Therapy is worth a try. There's evidence that you can get at least some of the benefits of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) from books, though I don't know if CBT would be good for you. It's supposed to be one of the better therapies for treating depression.
There's also more to treating depression than just meds and therapy. I can say more about that if you're interested.
Some members here have recommended the calmharm app:
https://www.suicideforum.com/community/threads/calmharm-app.175437/
I hope something can help.
Informed consent is a bedrock principle of medical ethics. That's a major violation if you were told you were just taking a supplement. In addition, there's probably some specific do's-and-don'ts and health risks that you should know about. Maybe there was a print out that went with the medication?
I'm glad the ssri has helped, but that was still wrong for your doctor to do that.
There are some forums about graduate school that might give you some good answers, and possibly something physics-specific. thegradcafe.com is one. This quora post that I found sounds like it might have some useful info, but I think at least some of the links are out of date:
https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-best-forums-about-graduate-school?share=1
Therapy is worth a try. There's evidence that you can get at least some of the benefits of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) from books, though I don't know if CBT would be good for you. It's supposed to be one of the better therapies for treating depression.
There's also more to treating depression than just meds and therapy. I can say more about that if you're interested.
Some members here have recommended the calmharm app:
https://www.suicideforum.com/community/threads/calmharm-app.175437/
I hope something can help.
[updated version, edit window closed]
Sorry that you're going through this.
Informed consent is a bedrock principle of medical ethics. That's a major violation if you were told you were just taking a supplement. In addition to the issue of deception, there's also probably some specific do's-and-don'ts and health risks that you should know about with the medication. Maybe there was a print out that went with the medication that has that?
I'm glad the ssri has helped, but that was still wrong for your doctor to do that.
There are some forums about graduate school that might give you some good answers, and possibly something physics-specific. thegradcafe.com is one. This quora post that I found sounds like it might have some useful info, but I think at least some of the links are out of date:
https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-best-forums-about-graduate-school?share=1
Some of those forums may be focused on PhD programs, but they still may be able to field the question of how to deal with research-related issues.
In an ideal world, you'd be able to have a frank conversation with both your professor and an academic advisor without fear of that negatively impacting your opportunities. In principle, you might be able to, but it's probably best to get the inside scoop from people who know the system.
Therapy is worth a try. There's evidence that you can get at least some of the benefits of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) from books, though I don't know if CBT would be good for you. It's supposed to be one of the better therapies for treating depression.
There's also more to treating depression than just meds and therapy. I can say more about that if you're interested.
Some members here have recommended the calmharm app:
https://www.suicideforum.com/community/threads/calmharm-app.175437/
I hope something can help.
Sorry that you're going through this.
Informed consent is a bedrock principle of medical ethics. That's a major violation if you were told you were just taking a supplement. In addition to the issue of deception, there's also probably some specific do's-and-don'ts and health risks that you should know about with the medication. Maybe there was a print out that went with the medication that has that?
I'm glad the ssri has helped, but that was still wrong for your doctor to do that.
There are some forums about graduate school that might give you some good answers, and possibly something physics-specific. thegradcafe.com is one. This quora post that I found sounds like it might have some useful info, but I think at least some of the links are out of date:
https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-best-forums-about-graduate-school?share=1
Some of those forums may be focused on PhD programs, but they still may be able to field the question of how to deal with research-related issues.
In an ideal world, you'd be able to have a frank conversation with both your professor and an academic advisor without fear of that negatively impacting your opportunities. In principle, you might be able to, but it's probably best to get the inside scoop from people who know the system.
Therapy is worth a try. There's evidence that you can get at least some of the benefits of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) from books, though I don't know if CBT would be good for you. It's supposed to be one of the better therapies for treating depression.
There's also more to treating depression than just meds and therapy. I can say more about that if you're interested.
Some members here have recommended the calmharm app:
https://www.suicideforum.com/community/threads/calmharm-app.175437/
I hope something can help.
