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The future decided on one day...

Survivorist

Survivorist

Black sheep of my family....
#1
#1
Did you ever have a date in your life, that will determine all your future? And you have done all you could to influence it (money, time, internet, bookings, flights....). And then you just sit here and wait? I feel like being in a courtroom knowing the verdict will be given in two days. It will of course have an impact on my life - I will not tell you how much. I am too old for bullshit now.

So, 25 my wife either will get her visa or not. I did everything. If no visa, - no future.

On 25 her daughter will have the result of baccalaureate and will receive the address of the university she has to visit from September on in France (now in Africa).

Of course both items are of course related. Clear. So I guess I sit here - and wait and hope. Any good ideas? I am tempted to drink a beer, just to get rid of the pressure and to sleep - although I know I should not do that. Life is an everlasting struggle - I just know one thing. As of the 25th I will have peace - one way or the other. Nothing I can do that pray and hope.
 
may71

may71

mr. may
#2
#2
That is a lot decided in one day. I'm sorry you're feeling so much pressure.

I hope it will all work out.

What someone finds relaxing is often peculiar to an individual, and also limited by finances. A professional massage might be nice, sometimes there are massage schools that offer discount massages. A yoga class? Acupressure self-massage or an acupuncture treatment?

Maybe a guided meditation. Two websites, "Headspace" and "Insight Timer" offer some free guided meditations. I think you could also find some free meditations on youtube.

Exercise? Listening to music?
 
Survivorist

Survivorist

Black sheep of my family....
#3
#3
Hi May71,

Thx. for the tips. As I have only 30 EUR left until salary (hopefully Friday) I will go by exercise (walking a lot) and Music (listening and making).

I made this yesterday. Shows my feelings - maybe you like it..

 
SamB

SamB

SF Supporter
#5
#5
I have definitely experienced such things, it’s hard to take when your destiny is out of your hands. The waiting is agony and it feels like the person making the decision doesn’t really care much and that’s why you are having to wait.
There isn’t anything to be done but wait, the best thing to do is to try and distract yourself with something else. Exercise, a book, TV, a puzzle, a friend or work anything that can occupy your mind and take you away from thinking about the decision.
 
Marga

Marga

Well-Known Member
#6
#6
Survivorist said:
Did you ever have a date in your life, that will determine all your future? And you have done all you could to influence it (money, time, internet, bookings, flights....). And then you just sit here and wait? I feel like being in a courtroom knowing the verdict will be given in two days. It will of course have an impact on my life - I will not tell you how much. I am too old for bullshit now.

So, 25 my wife either will get her visa or not. I did everything. If no visa, - no future.

On 25 her daughter will have the result of baccalaureate and will receive the address of the university she has to visit from September on in France (now in Africa).

Of course both items are of course related. Clear. So I guess I sit here - and wait and hope. Any good ideas? I am tempted to drink a beer, just to get rid of the pressure and to sleep - although I know I should not do that. Life is an everlasting struggle - I just know one thing. As of the 25th I will have peace - one way or the other. Nothing I can do that pray and hope.
Click to expand...
How did it go? If I understand right, 25 was on Thursday... Hope things turned out well.
 
Survivorist

Survivorist

Black sheep of my family....
#7
#7
Stress does never stop. The visa for my wife is still on hold - and we just can hope its given today - otherwise she has to change the flight back to Dakar...
Daughter Bacc is ok - but now, to get the visa you need an accommodation contract. We are working on it (her brother, which I have sustained for years in France). So in the end (as always) a dream. Nothing in this world can be solved in one day.

As you can imagine - I am not in the best shape. For once I wanted to have it all done and in order, without stress. This will never happen before they are really here. And even then - there is a big question mark. I mean organizing marriage within 3 months (including translations) is 50/50, not more. Normally things take longer. The point will come, I give up - this is what I realized.
 
Survivorist

Survivorist

Black sheep of my family....
#8
#8
Visa refused. My life is over. They have to stay in Africa. I do not know if I will survive that. I lost 100 of thousands of EUR... and will not see her on the 21st... Send you big tears. I really did what I could.

 
Survivorist

Survivorist

Black sheep of my family....
#13
#13
Well, I am here. Cannot move from my sofa - cannot move at all. Still so many things to do. So, the "daughter" goes to France. She is leaving on the 15th to Dakar and on the 19th to Paris. Another cost: 825 for apartment, 800 for flight, 300 for Dakar, visa, hotel, taxi.. Now my partner stays in Ziguinchor - she will come back from Cameroon on the 15th. Result - all four we talked about all this together - two kids are studying in France now (not my kids!) and I pay for them and for her mother (my partner) too - and she stays for the moment in Senegal. The rest of my retirement is for me. Its a shitty situation. But I live. If I survive is the question. If you have survived so many things in my life - but there is a moment it is just too much. I know many here will understand this.
 
Survivorist

Survivorist

Black sheep of my family....
#16
#16
I just wanted to continue the sad story. That my partner did not get her visa is done. I thought it could not get worse. Now the second catastrophe - although her ("my rental") daughter, for which I paid all these years the international French School (which normally allows you to study in France) did not get her study visa either. We had everything - apartment (already paid,etc.) the flight, the insurance, the "Baccalaureate"... visa denied. I do not care for money, never have - but this is a loss of 100 thousand easy. So, they both have to stay in Senegal for the moment - and I have no way to see them for the moment. It's devastating. It seems that since some weeks nothing works any longer - and all we have worked for so long is suddenly going simply down. I suffer and can only hope that when I see the doctor tomorrow, he will give me my medication, I am quite at the end. Of course none of the money paid for tickets, apartment, lawyer etc, will be reimbursed. It's like burning money..... I wanted to live with my partner. I mean I really like the daughter I cared for so long - but she 19 now and should study, live her own life, make experiences... all gone down. I do not know how long I can stand this any longer. One more little thing - and its end of the story. This is for sure.

Just cannot stop crying. You can understand that. Deepest depression. Sorry, I needed to write this.
 
snails

snails

Useless currently
#17
#17
Survivorist said:
I just wanted to continue the sad story. That my partner did not get her visa is done. I thought it could not get worse. Now the second catastrophe - although her ("my rental") daughter, for which I paid all these years the international French School (which normally allows you to study in France) did not get her study visa either. We had everything - apartment (already paid,etc.) the flight, the insurance, the "Baccalaureate"... visa denied. I do not care for money, never have - but this is a loss of 100 thousand easy. So, they both have to stay in Senegal for the moment - and I have no way to see them for the moment. It's devastating. It seems that since some weeks nothing works any longer - and all we have worked for so long is suddenly going simply down. I suffer and can only hope that when I see the doctor tomorrow, he will give me my medication, I am quite at the end. Of course none of the money paid for tickets, apartment, lawyer etc, will be reimbursed. It's like burning money..... I wanted to live with my partner. I mean I really like the daughter I cared for so long - but she 19 now and should study, live her own life, make experiences... all gone down. I do not know how long I can stand this any longer. One more little thing - and its end of the story. This is for sure.

Just cannot stop crying. You can understand that. Deepest depression. Sorry, I needed to write this.
Click to expand...
I'm so sorry. Your pain is conveyed here and I'll do my best not to try snd fix things (because I can't snd I'm sure you know far better than i) and just listen and try to help any way I can
 
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