This coming Tuesday is the second year anniversary of my mothers death 
It was all so sudden and unexpected. She got sick with what seemed like a cold and ended up in the hospital in a coma. Turns out she had contracted H1N1. She was one of 49 people to die of it in our city that year. I'd like to think that at one point she might have pulled through... She ended up pulling out her breathing tubes without anyone responding in adequate time and the lack of oxygen contributed to severe brain damage They ended up taking her off life support on the 22nd of November... The last thing and only thing I could get myself to say to her that day was that she needed to repaint her fingernails, they were chipped... I wish I had done it for her...
I'll never forget that Thanksgiving, my brother was getting high in the bathroom, my father was off crying in the backyard most of the time and I was left sitting next to my mothers empty plate and place at the table. Thanksgivings supposedly on for this year but I'm not sure I want to even go.
I woke up with a sore throat and other cold symptoms today. Of course it's just a normal cold but I started to get panicked... I guess colds and the flu mean something a little different when someone you loved has died from one..
Suicidal thought #43 - Sometimes I want to die so I can make things right and talk things over with my mother. We weren't on the best of terms when she was alive and I mourn that lack of an adult relationship.
Sigh... <3 Tx
It was all so sudden and unexpected. She got sick with what seemed like a cold and ended up in the hospital in a coma. Turns out she had contracted H1N1. She was one of 49 people to die of it in our city that year. I'd like to think that at one point she might have pulled through... She ended up pulling out her breathing tubes without anyone responding in adequate time and the lack of oxygen contributed to severe brain damage They ended up taking her off life support on the 22nd of November... The last thing and only thing I could get myself to say to her that day was that she needed to repaint her fingernails, they were chipped... I wish I had done it for her... I'll never forget that Thanksgiving, my brother was getting high in the bathroom, my father was off crying in the backyard most of the time and I was left sitting next to my mothers empty plate and place at the table. Thanksgivings supposedly on for this year but I'm not sure I want to even go.
I woke up with a sore throat and other cold symptoms today. Of course it's just a normal cold but I started to get panicked... I guess colds and the flu mean something a little different when someone you loved has died from one..
Suicidal thought #43 - Sometimes I want to die so I can make things right and talk things over with my mother. We weren't on the best of terms when she was alive and I mourn that lack of an adult relationship.
Sigh... <3 Tx
