Want to be in hospital

[Ella]

Hi

Just wondering if anyone else gets the same feelings of wanting to be in hospital?

I just want a break from my own life and somewhere safe and want attention and care. I’ve been to mental health hospital and it’s like ever since I have wanted to go back, I try to kill myself and do thing that got me in there in the first place but I never get admitted to it now. I hated it & hospitals but I hate my life just as much and I just really don’t wanna be living it

 

[Innocent Forever]

I've often wished that someone could come and take over my life for me.

Unfortunately (or fortunately) no one else can live my life. No one can live your life.

Would you, instead of trying to go to a hospital, try to find an inpatient rehab programme - where you can address the need for attention and care, and learn how to look after yourself, how to want to and how to live a life you love?

Have you discussed this with your GP at all?

 

[Freya]

I get this entirely. It would be so good sometimes, especially when you're feeling in a really really bad place, to be somewhere that you don't have any responsibility to do anything other than exist.

Maybe the thing to do is to take a look at your life and what it is about it that you hate so much and maybe take it in pieces like "here is a list of the reasons I hate my life, I am going to take them one at a time, just whatever feels easiest to fix first, and work through until I feel better" - then you feel like you're making steps forward. It's so hard though because it can feel like you can't fix anything. We can help with support and encouragement though

 

[Walker]

Hey
I don't get this feeling myself but I've spoken to someone at length who does. She often says she wants to go back to the hospital where they'll take care of her and life can be avoided. Where meals are delivered and meds are brought to her. Everything is easy and regimented. There's no decision making for yourself when someone is telling you what to do all the time. That's how she explains it at least.
I don't know what advice to give that hasn't already but it's nice to know you're not alone.
Looks like your posts recently have changed a bit. Very supportive. I like it.

 

[Ella]

Thank yous!

Thought I was only one or bit odd.
Feel like discussing it with my mental health team or gp but then I would never get into hospital
I think ultimately I just need to find what it is about why want to be in hospital then find a way to try to get it in my own life. Like maybe just need more support and probably because I’m alone it also was social thing when I was in hospital, now I’m lonely probably need to meet more people. Or just find a way to feel in control of my life and how to handle stress

 

[Innocent Forever]

Thought I was only one or bit odd.

Not at all. When I spoke to R' R recently and he asked me if there's anything else he could do for me I jokingly replied 'take over my life for me'

Feel like discussing it with my mental health team or gp but then I would never get into hospital

Why not more of a rehab or outpatient programme?
And, they can help you figure out what you said

I think ultimately I just need to find what it is about why want to be in hospital

why you want it and then help you to

find a way to try to get it in my own life

Like maybe just need more support and probably because I’m alone it also was social thing when I was in hospital, now I’m lonely probably need to meet more people.

That you can probably do by going to support groups (like so easy to find, right?

find a way to feel in control of my life

I wonder if a person ever feels in control.

and how to handle stress

That is distress tolerance and just skills. What therapy are you getting at the moment? I kinda feel like DBT would teach it (well DBT is what I want to learn).

 

[Ella]

Wouldn’t think would be able to access any rehab where I live, otherwise would :/

Last week I actually started group DBT. But it’s only for 6 weeks which feels like nothing. But for first session thought was kinda okay.

 

[Winter Blues]

Hi

Just wondering if anyone else gets the same feelings of wanting to be in hospital?

I just want a break from my own life and somewhere safe and want attention and care. I’ve been to mental health hospital and it’s like ever since I have wanted to go back, I try to kill myself and do thing that got me in there in the first place but I never get admitted to it now. I hated it & hospitals but I hate my life just as much and I just really don’t wanna be living it

I know exactly how you feel Shaunie - and it is the fact that hospital takes all responsibility from us to make decisions of any sort. Right now I would like to be in one with you - I can think of nothing safer but in my heart I know I have to address / readdress the shit in my life, soul, heart and brain and I am of the belief that meds/doctors/counsellors can't do it for me. But that's just me. I long to be normal - not to stress, worry, SH, want to die … I have to believe it will happen and I wish with all my heart that you reach the same point. Take care sweetheart, always here for you xxx

 

[sinking_ship]

I can relate a little. I've never done the hospital thing, but I've been tempted. It scares me, though, so I try to avoid it. Because what I really want is a pause button - and I think if I were away for a while all of the things I'm running from in life would still be here pushing harder. I think Freya's advice to tackle one thing at a time is great. It's not advice I'm good at taking myself, but I think it's easy to get overwhelmed by all the things at once. It sounds like you're really trying to work on things though, and that's good to hear.

 

[Ella]

Thank you all so much for advice and help, innocentforever, Freya, Walker, winterBlues and sinking_ship. <3 really helpful X

 

[Winter Blues]

Thank you all so much for advice and help, innocentforever, Freya, Walker, winterBlues and sinking_ship. <3 really helpful X

Stay safe Shaunie - and keep posting. Huge hugs xx

 

[crazyk]

Hi

Just wondering if anyone else gets the same feelings of wanting to be in hospital?

I just want a break from my own life and somewhere safe and want attention and care. I’ve been to mental health hospital and it’s like ever since I have wanted to go back, I try to kill myself and do thing that got me in there in the first place but I never get admitted to it now. I hated it & hospitals but I hate my life just as much and I just really don’t wanna be living it

I totally get how you feel. I’ve been experiencing those feelings lately. Having such a hard time with the everyday demands of my life right now. It’s so much easier if I had the flu or pneumonia because people nurture and take care of you and understand why you don’t get out of bed. I wish mental/emotional flare ups were seen in the same light. I think that if I’m in a hospital people will see its seriousness.

 

[Hiddenwaterfall]

Hi
I totally get those feelings
Stay strong xx

 

[Angie74]

I totally wish I could be in the hospital..but because I'm dependent on that environment, no one will hospitalize me anymore...despite what my psychiatrist wishes. I have spent between 3 and 4 years of my life in hospital...starting as a child...and they wonder why I'm institutionalized. I just can't live alone...but I tried a group home, and that didn't work either...I wish someone would lock me up and throw away the key...I feel I am that hopeless...i want to be independent, but i can't bear to be alone for any period of time...even hours. I don't know how I'm ever going to get better...especially with such intense traits of BPD. I might get to do a DBT group in the new year, but don't know. No one seems to know when said program is happening...

 

[Innocent Forever]

I might get to do a DBT group in the new year, but don't know. No one seems to know when said program is happening

I hope you do get to do it, and other programmes and find it helpful.
((hugs))

 

[JimmyBoy]

I get this thought a lot. I was told that it is normal. Mainly because of all the attention you get there. You are forced to have structure. I wish I had structure out in the real world. But honestly it sucks being there but if you think about it, not crazy at all to want to go back. It really is like everything you need to succeed. That's why a lot of people do so well in there and come back out into the real life and it goes back to normal in like no time.