I'm in pain constantly lately. Every normal daily task I do is 10 times harder. I can't think. I can't exist. I can't experience without this pain attacking me all the time. My way of fighting it has more or less been mind over matter. Living my life in spite of the pain. Doing things in spite of the pain. All I really want to do is curl up in a ball somewhere dark and comfortable with drugs that I shouldn't be thinking of trying. I want my body to experience a minute of peace. Not pleasure. Peace. And I say to myself fight, goddammit. Fight. You are stronger than this. But I feel weak. And I want to give up all the time. I want to let go of school, of ambitions, of feelings, of responsibilities and drift somewhere. I want to quit and I can't think of a logical reason why I shouldn't, barring emotions. I feel I am allowing myself to be physically tortured just to live this life. And I wonder if my life is really that special. Special enough to endure constant pain. And the answer is beginning to come up no. I do want to die.
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- Thread starter Brittless
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Hello
Really sorry to hear you are in so much pain.
If you dont mind me asking, what is the cause of all this pain? And are you getting any help to manage it?
I dont know where in the world you are, but in my country they have started to prescipe cannabis oil to patients that are in constant pain. And it seems to help most of them, in ways conventional medication cant. And you wont get high by this, cos there are no thc in it.
Really sorry to hear you are in so much pain.
If you dont mind me asking, what is the cause of all this pain? And are you getting any help to manage it?
I dont know where in the world you are, but in my country they have started to prescipe cannabis oil to patients that are in constant pain. And it seems to help most of them, in ways conventional medication cant. And you wont get high by this, cos there are no thc in it.
No help to manage it. I was taking a med but it no longer helps. The truth is no, I don't have help for my disease, I don't have support and whatever fight I have left in me is just prolonging my suffering.
Seems masochistic and I believe it would be if I wasn't suicidal.
Thanks for the med suggestion.
Seems masochistic and I believe it would be if I wasn't suicidal.
Thanks for the med suggestion.
yes you should really check it out.
It helps on a big variety of issues, including cronic pain.
And it helped my girlfriend, she had sever back pain. She had it since she was 8. Nothing helped untill she started smoking weed. It really helped to get it down to a managebel level.
And actually, when we were in egybt she was totally pain free. The heat and dry desert air really was a miracle for her.
It helps on a big variety of issues, including cronic pain.
And it helped my girlfriend, she had sever back pain. She had it since she was 8. Nothing helped untill she started smoking weed. It really helped to get it down to a managebel level.
And actually, when we were in egybt she was totally pain free. The heat and dry desert air really was a miracle for her.
I'm sorry you are in so much pain again. I can imagine how bad it must be to just want peace for a minute not even pleasure.
I wonder if you can cycle on and off the med that helped before. Maybe after a tolerance break it will help again. Though at this point you might not want advice. You're a tough person.
I wonder if you can cycle on and off the med that helped before. Maybe after a tolerance break it will help again. Though at this point you might not want advice. You're a tough person.
I'm really sorry @Brittless
I really have no advice. If I did, I would apply it to myself. I just wanted you to know that I totally understand the feeling of just wanting peace for our bodies. Just a moment of no pain would be bliss.
Take care.
I really have no advice. If I did, I would apply it to myself. I just wanted you to know that I totally understand the feeling of just wanting peace for our bodies. Just a moment of no pain would be bliss.
Take care.
Thanks for the responses. @Ima.robot It is good to be reminded I'm tough when I feel weak.
@Kira75 Although I'd wish pain on no one I can take solace in the fact that someone out there understands.
@na-taya Thanks for your support. I am always wishing you well xx
@Sunstealer I am skeptical about it but at this point I will try anything. Thanks again for the suggestion.
@Kira75 Although I'd wish pain on no one I can take solace in the fact that someone out there understands.
@na-taya Thanks for your support. I am always wishing you well xx
@Sunstealer I am skeptical about it but at this point I will try anything. Thanks again for the suggestion.