Why?

[Relentless]

Hey have not been here for a while, school has been going for about 2 weeks now. It started out pretty good I was happy having a good time 10th grade so got into the high school. New school new faces fun experience. But i'm not having much fun anymore . I don't know what is wrong with me I see everyone being social talking to everyone, I envy them so much. I see a guy with his girlfriend walking around holding hands I envy him. I can not talk to people, I don't know what to say to a girl I just tense up and feel stupid. I've had this girl I liked try and get me to talk more for 1 year she finally gave up on me. I liked her so much, we would see each other I would hug her she would say something I would say like one word tense up and we would part ways. People tell me just to go talk to them it's easy, they don't understand I can't do it. I try it's making me so depressed. Thats why i'm back here having those thoughts again. I just wish I had someone elses life....

 

[Blackness]

sounds like some kinda socila disorder or anxiety. The freezing up part, do you slurr your words too in this case?
I know how tough it is and the more you think /worry about it, the worse it gets.

 

[Relentless]

Ya I slur and stumble over my own words. It's fustrating I just want to be normal

 

[Blackness]

you are normal honey, its just that we freak out in some situations.
I know it is shit and lowers your confidence but we all have to communicate in life, you need to not let other peoples thoughts interfere with you.

 

[Relentless]

I don't know just seems like it would be easier to end it right here. So I won't have to go through life living alone until I die unhappy and lonely.

 

[Relentless]

Hmmm...I guess I will live alone thanks for the support and tips here guys

 

[Hae-Gi]

You might want to try using the drug benzodiazepines, for especially difficult times. Then, when you've been exposed to those situations, a few times, you will be able to handle them fairly well, without any drugs, since you've experienced the situations, when the situations have gone well, and your mind will not be so freaked about them, due to this. I used to have serious problems with public speeches, before, but I used this drug for the speeches and, as such, I could handle them flawlessly. While I have not completely got over it, yet, it's so much better, today. Remember to lower the doses, each time you expose yourself to difficult situations.

If you decide to try out my suggestion, it is very important that you have in mind that benzodiazepines are extremely addictive, so do not use them too often. This is very serious; if you'd start abusing them, you'd need them for all difficult situations, and if you'd stop taking them, you could end up in extreme anxiety that would feel unbearable. However, if you are careful with them, they can be of very much help. Just also have in mind that you will feel numb and unemotional, when you use them.

 

[SueEisman]

You're very normal!

Ya I slur and stumble over my own words. It's fustrating I just want to be normal