It all started with the way my mum has been threatening to cut me off from my medical bills.
Nothing has ever been sincere with her since then even if it’s their job to help pay it off.
My family has genetics of autoimmune diseases, how is it any different with them?
It is a struggle myself to even figure out what I enjoy doing, it is so I could keep it.
Do they really think that will be fixated overnight?
My past failures have made them lose faith in me.
It is never worth explaining anything to them.
They won’t listen.
They won’t believe.
How am I any different than my brothers?
Are they more worth the investments than me?
Am I really a waste of money?
Why so unhappy with me at everything?
Everything is a no for her.
Nothing’s ever good enough for her.
My dad doesn’t even bother talking to me or listening to my side story.
Whenever I tried to reconcile with her, it shows her true colours.
She’s quick to put guilt on me.
She would threat, “why am I buying stuffs with my own money, why can’t I pay my own medical bills? Is she nuts, I can’t buy my own happiness with my own money?”
Does she not know that the medical bills are higher than my salary?
I didn't even ask her more than that.
Does she not know that I don't have that kind of luxury to work that hard?
So to my dearest therapist, I do not want to even reconcile with my family like ever.
I am just deadpan serious wish they could be on a divorce.
I never want to see them, they’d use every communication with me to take it against me.
I have never been happy with them.
Nothing has ever been sincere with her since then even if it’s their job to help pay it off.
My family has genetics of autoimmune diseases, how is it any different with them?
It is a struggle myself to even figure out what I enjoy doing, it is so I could keep it.
Do they really think that will be fixated overnight?
My past failures have made them lose faith in me.
It is never worth explaining anything to them.
They won’t listen.
They won’t believe.
How am I any different than my brothers?
Are they more worth the investments than me?
Am I really a waste of money?
Why so unhappy with me at everything?
Everything is a no for her.
Nothing’s ever good enough for her.
My dad doesn’t even bother talking to me or listening to my side story.
Whenever I tried to reconcile with her, it shows her true colours.
She’s quick to put guilt on me.
She would threat, “why am I buying stuffs with my own money, why can’t I pay my own medical bills? Is she nuts, I can’t buy my own happiness with my own money?”
Does she not know that the medical bills are higher than my salary?
I didn't even ask her more than that.
Does she not know that I don't have that kind of luxury to work that hard?
So to my dearest therapist, I do not want to even reconcile with my family like ever.
I am just deadpan serious wish they could be on a divorce.
I never want to see them, they’d use every communication with me to take it against me.
I have never been happy with them.
