100.000€ its the fucking number.
Im deeply ashamed of it. If I didnt have enough things to want to die, this was one of them...
I dont want to overexplain myself. Basically I found these meme stocks, you know, GME and AMC, this was in 2020 just after they squeezed. I jumped in the hype. I dont remember how much money I put into int at first, maybe 7k, but then I took a loan of 14k... I didnt have a job back then and never worked before. I saw myself with no future...
Then I learned about investing in options. Yes, its possible. No, 99% of peoplo cant do it. And Im one of those idiots who thought he could. Those 14k, whatever was left, I tried to trade options and lost everything. Then I found a job in 2023 and another one, and worked for 2 years... And every time i saved like 2k I put it and tried to play options again just to lose it all.
Then lost my job. Well, the 2nd one, I quit it, because I could not stand it anymore... And after a few months looking for a new job, and seeing how little I was paid before and that I would take forever to get paid decently, I just wanted to die, ofc... I dont remember why, I think GME was going to do something and I was with a lot of fomo, so I took a 36k loan, the biggest I could take and basically thought I would either be rich or die... But 2 months later I got my current job where I get paid almost twice was what I was paid before and that I cant basically not believe it as I am telling it.. But while its a decent pay, everything is so expensive that its still a shit pay.
There is one more thing... Im very stupid... Very. This time it wasnt stocks... Trying to find someone, reading posts in r/suicidewatch, I talked with someone who wanted to die because was in dire need of money. I dont want to explain too much, but in short, I gave around 13k in 8 months to that person... And no, I wasnt even in love with her, she was ugly and everything, I didnt even like her, which is why I think it wasnt a scam. I just kept giving her money cause she needed it to survive and it was very heavy on me seeing her suffer.
So in short:
- Around 7.000€ for start
- Loan of 14.000€
- 33.000€ in many attempts
- 36.000€ loan
- 13.000€ gave away
Total: 103.000€
I was already very behind in life having started to work at 33 years old, but this... This is really disheartening...
Meanwhile I live in a shit apartment... I have a shit car... All that money would have made me be able to get out of here...
I still have 20k in GME stock, which was the last loan of 36k. I think it I can recover but Ill have to wait up to 2 years...
Also, I was asking chatgpt (in its top setting, paid mode) to make a plan for long investment, just like any decent person would. I was thinking of taking out the 20k and just do this... But... I just feel stupid... If I did this 15 years ago, it wouldnt have been stupid. BUt now, Im very late to the party, Im old... And its very little money... I was thinking in something like every months save a bit and invest it the same diverse way in a portfolio.. But agian, its so little... Im just... Material to be thrown to the trash... After seeing what some people make... This is just cheap change...
Im stupid and pathetic...
Im deeply ashamed of it. If I didnt have enough things to want to die, this was one of them...
I dont want to overexplain myself. Basically I found these meme stocks, you know, GME and AMC, this was in 2020 just after they squeezed. I jumped in the hype. I dont remember how much money I put into int at first, maybe 7k, but then I took a loan of 14k... I didnt have a job back then and never worked before. I saw myself with no future...
Then I learned about investing in options. Yes, its possible. No, 99% of peoplo cant do it. And Im one of those idiots who thought he could. Those 14k, whatever was left, I tried to trade options and lost everything. Then I found a job in 2023 and another one, and worked for 2 years... And every time i saved like 2k I put it and tried to play options again just to lose it all.
Then lost my job. Well, the 2nd one, I quit it, because I could not stand it anymore... And after a few months looking for a new job, and seeing how little I was paid before and that I would take forever to get paid decently, I just wanted to die, ofc... I dont remember why, I think GME was going to do something and I was with a lot of fomo, so I took a 36k loan, the biggest I could take and basically thought I would either be rich or die... But 2 months later I got my current job where I get paid almost twice was what I was paid before and that I cant basically not believe it as I am telling it.. But while its a decent pay, everything is so expensive that its still a shit pay.
There is one more thing... Im very stupid... Very. This time it wasnt stocks... Trying to find someone, reading posts in r/suicidewatch, I talked with someone who wanted to die because was in dire need of money. I dont want to explain too much, but in short, I gave around 13k in 8 months to that person... And no, I wasnt even in love with her, she was ugly and everything, I didnt even like her, which is why I think it wasnt a scam. I just kept giving her money cause she needed it to survive and it was very heavy on me seeing her suffer.
So in short:
- Around 7.000€ for start
- Loan of 14.000€
- 33.000€ in many attempts
- 36.000€ loan
- 13.000€ gave away
Total: 103.000€
I was already very behind in life having started to work at 33 years old, but this... This is really disheartening...
Meanwhile I live in a shit apartment... I have a shit car... All that money would have made me be able to get out of here...
I still have 20k in GME stock, which was the last loan of 36k. I think it I can recover but Ill have to wait up to 2 years...
Also, I was asking chatgpt (in its top setting, paid mode) to make a plan for long investment, just like any decent person would. I was thinking of taking out the 20k and just do this... But... I just feel stupid... If I did this 15 years ago, it wouldnt have been stupid. BUt now, Im very late to the party, Im old... And its very little money... I was thinking in something like every months save a bit and invest it the same diverse way in a portfolio.. But agian, its so little... Im just... Material to be thrown to the trash... After seeing what some people make... This is just cheap change...
Im stupid and pathetic...
Last edited:
