It's 12 years today since I miscarried and lost my baby, it still hurts, I remember that day so well and vividly. I have horrendous thoughts about it when looking back. Did I deserve my baby? No. I was only a ''baby'' myself. My life could have turned out so much differently if I had, had the child. It was my fault though and no one can tell me otherwise, I OD when I was pregnant. I was very young and very stupid and did not know the consequences. I'm a failure at some things.