It’s like every day i’ve been waking up and realising that i’m completely alone and i can’t do anything about it. I know this has been my life since i was about 8 but now it’s worse because i want to do something but i can’t i’m stuck living in my head and there’s no way to get out now and i feel so trapped and hopeless. I was excited for the holidays because i thought i could change things but it’s only less than a week in and i know i can’t even help myself. Pretty much every single day of these ten weeks i’ll wake up crying and spend the whole day searching up ‘how to kill myself’ every two minutes because i have nothing better to do with myself. Can’t even do that because all of the pills in my house won’t kill you and nobody cared to put them away and nobody cares to ask if i’m alright and i have nobody to talk to so i’m stuck here talking to strangers who can’t help me. I even have an appointment next week and i’m not even looking forward to it because i don’t know what to say and i’ll probably just cry the entire time. I don’t have hope anymore i just wish i was dead.
