Well its that time of year again. August first is a very hard day for me and its almost here. On August 1st ,2000 i gave birth to a beautiful 6lb 7oz 19 1/2 inchs long baby girl. I had just turned 15 but she was already my world. She was such a sweet baby and as she grew i loved her more and more each day. i had 4 wonderful years my babygirl, but that was not and neve will be enough. On October 22nd, 2004. i lost her. i had left her with someone very safe so i could go to job corps and get my nursing degree. i was just getting out the week after her death. i found out that the people that had her didnt want to fight with her to put her seat belt on in her car seat. They got hit head on by a drunk driver and my baby girl was flown to the nearest hospital that could and did specialized in treating children. i made it there. When i got there my breath was taken away she was hooked to all monitors had ivs and was on a ventilator which was keeping her alive. i talked to many doctors and they all said the same thing. she would never wake up and that all she would be in was constant pain. i didnt want that for her so after 4 days in the hospital i had them shut off life support. she passed away at 7:13 am in my arms. it was the hardest descion i would and have ever had to make. i question myself why did go to job corps she was more imortant but i wanted the best life i could give her so for me getting my nursing degree meant i could get a good job and take care of her. i blame myself for her death after all i am the one that let her stay there and ultimently i am the one that took her life by taking her of life support. at the time i thought it was the kindest and best thing i could do for her.i couldnt see letting her suffer another day. my heart is still broken and i still miss her each and everyday. the day she died a piece of myself died with her. Well, now she would be turning 21. i cant imagine all the things we would and could have done together. but apparently it was her time to go. i am going to insert the song we had played at her funeral and we had it signed as well. we changed the lyrics from barely just turned 7 to barely just turned 4.
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21st bday coming up
- Thread starter Bbear82
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I’m so sorry for your loss, Bbear82. Wish I could give you a hug. I just can’t imagine the pain that you must be going through. Please don’t be hard on yourself. It’s not your fault. You did your best to give her the best. Take good care of yourself. May God be your source of comfort and strength. Sending hugs your way. 
Hey Bbear wow I'm really so sorry that you've had to experience such a thing. I don't really know what to say except I'm sorry for your loss and as Livelife said I wish you peace and comfort at this time.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Bbear82. Wish I could give you a hug. I just can’t imagine the pain that you must be going through. Please don’t be hard on yourself. It’s not your fault. You did your best to give her the best. Take good care of yourself. May God be your source of comfort and strength. Sending hugs your way.
Taking her off life support was the only option. It would have been cruel and pointless to keep her on. You talked to many doctors, it was the only way.
You were just trying to do your best for her.
It sounds like the care takers were mostly trying to be good, but they should have insisted that she put on her seat belt even if she resisted. The one who should really take the blame is the drunk driver.
It's also not clear if she would have survived even if she had her seat belt on. It sounds like the crash was pretty severe.
There's also no way to know what would have happened if you hadn't gone to nursing school. Some other accident could have happened. There's no way to know what an alternative outcome would have been.
Hugs Bbear
You were just trying to do your best for her.
It sounds like the care takers were mostly trying to be good, but they should have insisted that she put on her seat belt even if she resisted. The one who should really take the blame is the drunk driver.
It's also not clear if she would have survived even if she had her seat belt on. It sounds like the crash was pretty severe.
There's also no way to know what would have happened if you hadn't gone to nursing school. Some other accident could have happened. There's no way to know what an alternative outcome would have been.
Hugs Bbear
I honestly don't have any words to make things better for you in the slightest but please know that I'm thinking of you and praying that you find the strength to get through the day just like you get through each and every day.
I'm only going to tell you what I honestly believe. You didn't want your little girl to be in pain so you did the right thing. You did the only thing that any loving parent would have done. I know it's easy for me to say, but I can only tell you my honest thoughts.
As a parent myself, I honestly can't imagine how you're feeling but regardless, I think that you are a brave, strong and courageous woman. You're also a loving mother and you always will be. You were forced to make an incredibly difficult decision and you chose the most loving one. Your daughter will always hold a very special place in your heart and I hope that that brings you some comfort. Your bond is immeasurable. It defies all understanding and will never be broken or diminished in any way at all.
Sending you strength and love to help you get through this painful time. Please be gentle and kind to yourself also. 💕💕💕💕 oxox
I'm so very sad to hear this. I agree with everyone you were doing your best for her by getting an education, and the fault here lies with the drunk driver. I was hit head on in a car accident with a drunk driver when I was 23 and it was awful. I walked away from it but I had a bruised sternum and extensive soft-tissue injuries from the force of the impact. I was in physiotherapy for a year and a half. I cannot imagine how badly I would have been hurt if I had not been wearing a seatbelt. So yes it was negligent of your babysitters not to put her in a carseat, but it was still the drunk driver with the primary fault. And you absolutely did the right thing taking her off life support -- she must have had extensive brain injury that they thought she wouldn't wake up, and nobody deserves to be in constant pain. I would certainly want someone to take me off life support under those circumstances.
Never spend another moment doubting your actions. That is an order! I am sending a tiny angel the size of a Barbie doll to sit on your shoulder and pinch you if you ever experience another thought of guilt or self-blame!!! I hope your daughter is in a better place and you get to see her again one day - remember what's done is done and your daughter loved you and would not want you to suffer either.
Never spend another moment doubting your actions. That is an order! I am sending a tiny angel the size of a Barbie doll to sit on your shoulder and pinch you if you ever experience another thought of guilt or self-blame!!! I hope your daughter is in a better place and you get to see her again one day - remember what's done is done and your daughter loved you and would not want you to suffer either.
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I honestly don't have any words to make things better for you in the slightest but please know that I'm thinking of you and praying that you find the strength to get through the day just like you get through each and every day.
I'm only going to tell you what I honestly believe. You didn't want your little girl to be in pain so you did the right thing. You did the only thing that any loving parent would have done. I know it's easy for me to say, but I can only tell you my honest thoughts.
As a parent myself, I honestly can't imagine how you're feeling but regardless, I think that you are a brave, strong and courageous woman. You're also a loving mother and you always will be. You were forced to make an incredibly difficult decision and you chose the most loving one. Your daughter will always hold a very special place in your heart and I hope that that brings you some comfort. Your bond is immeasurable. It defies all understanding and will never be broken or diminished in any way at all.
Sending you strength and love to help you get through this painful time. Please be gentle and kind to yourself also. 💕💕💕💕 oxox
I honestly don't have any words to make things better for you in the slightest but please know that I'm thinking of you and praying that you find the strength to get through the day just like you get through each and every day.
I'm only going to tell you what I honestly believe. You didn't want your little girl to be in pain so you did the right thing. You did the only thing that any loving parent would have done. I know it's easy for me to say, but I can only tell you my honest thoughts.
As a parent myself, I honestly can't imagine how you're feeling but regardless, I think that you are a brave, strong and courageous woman. You're also a loving mother and you always will be. You were forced to make an incredibly difficult decision and you chose the most loving one. Your daughter will always hold a very special place in your heart and I hope that that brings you some comfort. Your bond is immeasurable. It defies all understanding and will never be broken or diminished in any way at all.
Sending you strength and love to help you get through this painful time. Please be gentle and kind to yourself also. 💕💕💕💕 oxox